We'd been sitting in the room for what seemed like hours. There was a cold, uncomfortable silence filling the air, and a few people had burst into nervous tears. Unfortunately, Brielle was the only person I recognized in the room. To my great relief, her mother hadn't been allowed in. Without her mom at her side cheering her on, she seemed like an old toy that had lost its batteries.
I was sitting in the far corner of the room, hugging my knees and clutching my phone like a lifeline. My white dress was starting to just make me feel awkward and out of place. I unlocked my phone for about the fiftieth time that night, staring at the ignored notification. I once again reminded myself that it couldn't be that bad. I tended to think the worst of situations, and it was just like me to get so worked up about four (probably harmless) messages. Before I could talk myself back out of it, I clicked the message center app. Aside from Maggie, there was only one other line of messages. It sat above her name, displaying it's little blue dot to let me know that my worries weren't so far fetched after all. The name next to that blue dot was Jack.
I clenched the phone tightly, any remaining sliver of confidence now completely gone. It took everything I had to keep ahold of it. I was this far. Why not go all the way.
I fingered my heart charm for a moment, then let my hand fall to my left forearm, searching for the crescent shaped scar I knew resided there. My fingers found it, and relaxed. He was the past, and he didn't need to haunt me anymore. I had nothing to be afraid of. I clicked his name, cringing involuntarily. The first message popped up.
“Hi.”
I looked at it in shock, wondering if he'd accidentally wrong numbered me. I pulled up the next text.
“Things ended bad between us, huh?”
The wrong number theory was looking a bit far fetched. A coldness was forming in the pit of my stomach, starting to spread through me. I felt like I could puke. Nevertheless, I opened the next message.
“I hear you're gonna be around Cali.”
Another icy chill ran down my spine, spreading down my arms and making me shiver. What were the chances that he was here now, of all places and times. But the last message was by far the worst. The one that told me he wasn't through with me. The one that said I could still be sucked in again, despite my thinking I was safe. It was just four simple words, but they said so much more.
“We should meet up.”
A feeling of dread was boiling up inside of me. I couldn't go back to him. Never. That was as bad as falling in love, and I'd vowed to myself it'd never happen. Those days were gone. I ignored the messages, shoving my phone deeply into my purse, and feeling even worse, if possible. I guess there was a bright side. Getting cut meant going home, away from California and away from Jack. And that I could definitely live with.
Then the door was flying open, and the judges entered to tell us the news. They bantered a while about how everyone was amazing and sometimes they had to make decisions that were hard, and the whole time my inside was screaming at them to just let us go home already. Then Jennifer interrupted.
“You're killing them!” she moaned over Randy, “You guys are all through!”
My heart skipped a beat. Through was the last thing I'd wanted to hear. I'd accepted my fate.
Then I remembered my friends, all thrown in different rooms. Who had been cut.
I was immediately on my feet, ready to get out.
“Go ahead and meet up with your friends. Then we need the passers to meet back in the auditorium, and those who were cut to head back to the hotel.” megaphone man was standing in the hallway between the rooms.
