The Clear green

Nova

I woke up with severe stomach pains.I hastily grabbed my stomach and pressed a hand to my mouth.I got up and my vision went black.I stumbled against a dresser and leaned against it.A glass vase clattered down and made a damn loud crash.Someone stormed into the room."Nova!" Jayce helped me to the bathroom and I nodded over the loo."Could you-?" I pointed to my hair in embarrassment.Without comment, I felt him gently wrap my hair in a braid.I knelt in front of the toilet and clung to the lid.Ever since I was little I had a disturbing fear of throwing up.I started crying uncontrollably.Then I felt the disgusting feeling in my throat.After throwing up 3 times, I leaned against a wall next to the toilet, breathing heavily.Jayce came back with a glass of water in his hand and handed it to me."Thank you." I said before sucking in all the water."How are you feeling love?" Jayce asked worried."I'm fine." I assured him.He nodded, sat down next to me on the floor and took me in his arms."Yesterday I probably did a lot of stupid things and said-""No, it's okay. You deserve a break." He said quietly.I nodded in embarrassment."I'd kiss you, but-" Before I could finish speaking, his lips crashed into mine."I don't care." He said, his lips meeting mine again.,,Well,I do,that's disgusting!" I yelled and laughed.He grinned.

After Jayce showed me his whole apartment and made me breakfast, we made our way to my dorm."See you today?" I asked on the way."I would never forgive myself for disappointing you." He said in amusement and I squeezed his hand tighter in mine.When we got there, Maddy ran towards me."Holy shit, I thought you were dead-" she yelled, falling into my arms."Sorry, I've been-uh-well,busy," I explained.She nodded judgmentally."In the library at 8." I hissed at Jayce.I just saw him smirk.My lips gave him one last kiss.Maddy took my hand and we went to our room.She sat cross-legged on her bed and looked at me expectantly."Tell me." she said and I told her every detail I could remember."Okay-that last part was gross." She stated in disgust."But how cute is Jayce please?" she said dreamily."Very cute, he's perfect." I added.She smiled."You're a perfect match, I'm serious, you're made for each other." She said seriously.I felt a feeling of happiness in my stomach that kept spreading.Maddy opened the window and took a short breath."Wow." she said shortly."So when are you going to meet up next?" she asked curiously."8 in the library." I replied with a grin."Go there earlier, surprise him." She said with a grin on her lips.

Maddy and I were in town all day shopping.It was nice weather and I felt good.We walked past the library and Maddy suddenly stopped."Well it's almost 8, go and wait for him." She winked at me and I handed her my shopping bags."Have fun." She smiled at me and walked away.I opened the glass door, walked through the many shelves and looked at the many books.Someone opened the door and came in."Jayce?" I asked cautiously."Almost." Jayce definitely didn't answer.Endy stood in front of me with a confused look on his face."What's going on?" I asked quickly."All-all good, but I have to say something, rather show it." He paused heavily."I'm so sorry, you don't deserve it." He said with a pitying look on his face."What do you mean?" I asked again confused."You-You don't know?" he asked cautiously."No? Should I?""Yes." He rummaged in his pocket and brought out a crumpled picture.Without words, he handed it to me.I looked at him confused but he just nodded at the photo in my hand.I unfolded it.It was a photo taken with an Instax.A photo that comes out of the camera as soon as you photograph something.My heart literally stopped on the spot.I had no pulse.My eyes stopped blinking.Tears flowed down my cheeks."When-when was the photo taken?" I asked, shaking."Back side." Endy said silently.I turned the photo over.18.7.2022In the photo was a woman about my age, blonde.She had her arms around a guy, Jayce.Their lips touched.They kissed.I fell to the ground. "I'm sorry, little one." Endy looked down at me sadly."Come here." He said and held me up in his arms.I couldn't take anything seriously anymore.My brain seemed about to stop, as did my heart.I wasn't even sure if my heart was still beating.I felt a sharp pain in my chest.I sobbed.My makeup ran down my cheeks and mixed with my salty tears.My hands were shaking violently.I swallowed many times.

I cried into Endys now wet shoulder."Everything will be fine, he doesn't deserve you." He said, patting my head.I ignored his presence.His kisses, his words, his hands, his eyes, his heart.He had lied to me.I felt complete with him.Everything that happened in the last few weeks is now only part of the many memories.All that was was a single paragraph in a novel, a novel with an ending after no one asked.Like a stab in the heart, all the pain in me disappeared.Why am I never enough?I asked myself,knowing the answer.