when i look at you | TWD

chapter twenty: epiphany

HER HANDS MOVE THROUGH HER HAIR, PULLING IT BACK INTO A PONYTAIL. Ellie was currently in her cell block, getting ready to go out and kill the walkers around the perimeters. She stuffs her gun in it's holster before shoving both of her knives in her thigh sheaths. She smirks in satisfaction as she places her boots that Maggie had found for her on and puts her jeans over them, letting out a slow exhale before making her way out of her cell. She spots Carl a good distance away and she catches up to him, tapping his shoulder.

"Hey, Carl." She says, stopping to talk for a moment. He turns at her voice and smiles a bit, stopping as well. "How you been?"

Carl shrugs, sighing deeply. "I don't know..." He trails off, eyes trailing towards the floor. "I'm good, I guess."

Ellie gives him a sad smile before looking around the prison. Not many people were around considering it looked to be around four pm. "Wanna go kill walkers with me?"

Carl nods eagerly and follows the girl outside, her flashing a smile at the boy. "Where do you go when you go outside the gates?" He suddenly asks and she widens her eyes slightly at his answer.

"Uh... I just like to go out." The girl shrugs, them now making their way outside. "I mostly go and kill walkers, search homes for supplies."

Carl spots a couple people down by the lower grounds, cheering on what looked like to be Hershel walking with the crutches. He was indeed confirmed once they got closer down the hill.

"Yeah, Hershel!" Ellie laughs, cheering him on, Glenn doing the same from a distance.

They round the corner, closer to Lori, Hershel and Beth.

"Hey, guys." Lori smiles at the two, them smiling back wide.

"Hey." Carl says, looking back behind her. Ellie turns and looks as well, seeing a herd of walkers rounding the corner. "Walkers!" Carl cries out in a panic, moving closer to his mom.

"Oh, fuck." Ellie curses, pulling out her gun and knife. She runs down towards the walkers, killing any that got close. As she turns her head, she see's Lori, Carl and Maggie all run into the door into the nearest cell block.

"El!" She heard a familiar voice yell. She turns her head and faces T-dog with Carol beside him. "C'mon! This way!" Ellie nods quickly and shoots a couple more walkers on her way towards them. The walkers begin to make their way towards them from the noise, getting closer and closer.

Ellie covers her ears as a loud piercing noise of alarms go off, her turning to look towards the noise. She catches Carol's eye, who was trying to clear the walkers who were getting close to her. "What the fuck!" She yells out, moving closer the doors while also trying her best to kill as much walkers as she could.

"No!" Her head whips around to Carol's agonizing scream. It was T-dog, a chunk of skin out from his arm as he kills the walker that did it.

Ellie clears a path for them to walk, Carol and T-dog following her into the prison. She grunts loud as she uses her foot to kick open the door, motioning for them to get inside.

"We-we gotta get to the cell blocks... and the others." Ellie breathes out in a panic, tears clouding her vision. They make their way all down the hall, weapons out. T-dog holding his arm bite to stop the bleeding. Ellie gasps in a panic as walkers round the corner, her face to face with one as its cold, dead hands grips onto her shoulders, squeezing tightly.

"El!" Carol screams out, pulling out her knife to kill it. Just as she did, the walkers began to surround them, their faces all full of panic and fear.

Ellie pulls out her knife while holding back the walker. With a loud grunt, she stabs the walker in the head, it falling to the floor with a thud. She gasps as she feels a hand latch onto her leg and her eyes widen, feet getting caught on the already dead walkers on the floor.

A scream of pain escapes her throat as the walker digs its teeth into her leg, pulling out a chunk of skin. T-dog comes up from beside her, tackling the walker that bit her and bringing it towards the wall. Carol moves towards Ellie, lifting her up off the ground. The girl whimpers loudly in pain, blood dripping from her wound. "El, let's go!"

"T!" El cries out, seeing him struggling with the walkers on the wall.

"I'm already dead! Just go!" T-dog let's out one last scream before the walkers tear into him, Ellie and Carol make their way out the door, the bright sunlight almost blinding them.

"El, you're bit." Carol points out, her leg still gushing out blood.

"I-I'm fine..." The girl trails off, stumbling a bit while walking.

As she looks up, she see's walkers coming towards them. Carol turns her the other way and walks into another room. It looked to be a storage closet. She sets the girl on the ground, her groaning in pain.

Ellie flicks on her flashlight, taking a look at the bite on her leg. She pulls up her jeans slowly, groaning loudly as the pain felt hot all around her leg. A couple tears fall down her face, her not bothering to wipe them away. The blood pours out from the wound and onto the ground.

Carol walks over to her, holding something in her hand. "Here's some bandages." She says, pulling them out of it's case.

Ellie stares at the swollen bite, endless tears falling down her face. She sniffs and watches as Carol wraps her leg delicately, as if under her touch, she would break. "We need to get back." The girl says out loud, eyes towards the floor. 

"I know..." Carol sighs, finishing wrapping up her leg.

Ellie gets up off the floor, giving the woman a smile in thanks. "C'mon." She pulls out her gun, holding it out in front of her.

Carol is behind her, holding out her knife. Ellie's hand hovers over the doorknob before gripping it tightly. She turns the knob, yanking open the door. Surprisingly, there no walkers that came at her, but there were a couple a good distance away.

She shot them dead with her gun before they both quickly made their way towards the front where the walkers originally were. Ellie glanced behind her, seeing Carol from the side of her eye.

It felt like forever once Ellie had spotted Glenn from up ahead, her almost running to him. He grips onto her shoulders tightly. "You're alright?" He says, looking into her eyes.

Ellie nods slowly, looking back at Carol before looking back at Glenn's face in front of her. "I'm alright." She pauses before looking around, noticing a lot of their group was still missing. Beth, Hershel, Carol and Rick were all in the area, everyone else gone. "Where is everyone? Still in the cell blocks?" The girl begins to make her way towards the gate, but it opens just as she takes a step, her eyes widening.

Maggie was the first one she saw walk out, a small baby in her arms, blood covering her body from head to toe. Her lip was quivering as her eyes catch Rick's.

Everyone falls silent as they watch the two Grimes boys walk out next, tears falling down from both their eyes as they avoid eye contact with their father.

"Where-where is she? Where is she?" Rick's voice breaks at the end of his question, the man making his way towards his sons. Jax moved and stood on the side away from everyone, silently crying with the gun in his hand. "No... no." Rick cries, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "No..." He chokes out a sob, placing his hands on his head in distress. He tumbles on the ground on his back, sobbing loudly as everyone around him looks down at the ground in silence.

Ellie limps over to Jax, the boy instantly looking up to meet her green, soft eyes. She stares at him deeply, hesitantly reaching out her hand to touch his arm.

He looks at her with somber eyes before grabbing her hand with his free one, squeezing tight. "El..." Jax whimpers, more tears falling down his face.

Ellie's throat tightens as she see's the tears falling from his face. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He cries loud into her neck, holding onto her for dear life, like he never wanted to let go.

And he doesn't.