when i look at you | TWD

chapter twenty-two: misery loves company

HER HANDS BRUSH AGAINST THE GRASS DELICATELY, a short sigh escaping her mouth. The young teenagers eyes open slowly, green irises glistening in the sunlight. Ellie sits up, taking in her surroundings slowly. Her eyebrows come together in confusion as she realizes that she isn't even at the prison anymore and instead, it was a large field of nothing but green beautiful grass, the sunrise peaking just above the hill.

Am I dead? Was the first thought that entered her mind once she took a couple steps forward, inhaling shakily with each one.

"Ellie, is that you?" A voice says in the distance, echoing all around her. She freezes at the sight of him, not a wound in sight from that night. He looked alive.

"Daddy..." Tears pool in her eyes and instantly, she runs to him, pulling him into her just as fast, scared he might disappear from her grip again.

Shane is taken back by his daughters tight hug but nevertheless, hugs her back just as tight, his head buried in her shoulder. "I missed you so much." She breaths out, inhaling his familiar scent she's been longing for all this time. This is exactly where she wanted to be.

"No, no, no..." She pulls away and he softens his eyes at her demeanor. She didn't look like she same Ellie he saw all those months ago. Her hair was a lot longer than it was, maybe coming just passed her elbow, flowing down her back in its natural, light caramel waves. Her eyes were a much darker green and appeared to be more dull, as well as her smile that didn't quite meet her eyes as he pushes her hair from her face to get a closer look. He sighs deeply and grabs her hand, turning it over and scanning over bite marks, it being just about scars now. "You're not supposed to be here, baby."

"No, no, I am." She protests, slipping her tiny hands in his, squeezing tightly. "I want to stay with you, Dad, please..."

Shane shakes his head, furrowing his eyebrows at her behavior. "What happened?"

Ellie shrugs, her lip quivering as she recalls how she is dead, or dying, rather. "I got bit."

Shane shakes his head once again, holding her face in his hands. "You need to get back, okay? Get back to Rick, to Carl, Jax... everyone else. You can't be here with me, El."

El shakes her head slowly, a sob escaping her throat. "P... please, Dad." She wraps her arms around him tightly again, sobbing loudly into his shirt.

In the prison, everyone falls into a panic as Carol pulls away her fingers from her neck with a gasp, eyes wide in fear. "She's not breathin'."

"What?" Rick comes up from beside the woman suddenly, covered in blood and dirt from being in the tunnels for hours. "El, no, no..." He trails off, his voice getting caught in his throat as he watches her pale, still self on the bed, blood flowing out from her leg, still.

Carl watches from beside his father, eyes pooling with tears. She was almost as pale as the sheet beneath her, the bright red blood sprawled on the it like a murder scene.

Jax pushes his way through everyone around the girls cell, their faces full of horror as they watch Rick begin to cry over the girls body. The boy exhales shakily and then makes his way beside her, taking a seat quickly. "You're not dying today." He mumbles before placing two hands on her chest, beginning to do CPR to get air circulation to her heart again.

Ellie shakes her head at the image, inhaling sharply as she felt the air back in her lungs as she stood beside her father. "Dad, what's happening?" She coughs lightly, looking back at the image of Jax breathing air into her lungs.

"You're goin' home." Shane tells his daughter, gripping tightly on her hand as she feels herself slipping out from his grip. "I love you, El. Don't forget that."

Ellie chokes out a sob before throwing her arms around him one last time, him hugging her just as tight. "I love you, too."

A loud gasp escapes her throat as she feels the air enter her lungs again, everyone else in the room gasping as well. It was almost as if time stopped once she finally regained consciousness again, all eyes on her. She pants heavily, eyes heavy as she scans the room.

Jax's eyes soften as he feels relief enter his body. He reached for her hand, desperate to hold her for the moment and subconsciously, her hand finds Jax's, her tightening her grip on it. "Oh, God..." He breaths out, stray tears rolling down his cheeks.

Ellie breathes in and out shakily, her other hand teaching out to grab Rick's, who accepted it instantly. "I'm okay..." She says, not knowing if she was talking to everyone or if she was talking to herself.

Rick gives her a sad smile before looking at the both of his sons, and thats when everyone started to move away from the cell. Everyone except the Grimes family and Carol, who was giving Ellie water. She gulps it down instantly and then lays back in her spot, eyes fluttering shut. "I'm fucking okay..." Her grip on Rick's hand loosened and he lets go, him setting it down beside her.

Jax brushes her hair back behind her face, a sigh escaping his throat. "Don't ever fuckin' do that again, El." He lets out a watery chuckle, a sad smile creeping into his lips.

She shakes her head and grips his hand tighter. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Jax smiles lightly, pulling her hand towards his face with a sigh as everyone felt like that weight off their shoulders was lifted.

"I saw him." Ellie sighs shakily, her grip tightening on his hand. "I saw my dad."

Jax was silent, staring deep into her eyes. His mind was racing.

"He told me it was too soon for me to be there," Her lip quivers, tears starting to prick her eyes. "I miss him." The tears fall down her cheeks, dripping onto Jax's hands she held in hers.

Tears fall down Jax's face as well, him breathing heavily as he wipes them away. "It's okay, El..." He says, not knowing what else to say to her. But that was the truth. It is okay because the two of them are still alive and breathing through this fucked up universe.

Not really an update but i don't know what else to write lol but i'll probably be writing alot more lately!