His to Steal

Ch. 7: Watcher

Nicolai

Sometimes, it takes a couple days for you to really feel something after it hits you in the face. Like that one time in middle school when some dickhead punched me in the nose, and I didn't realize until two days later that it was broken.

Or like three days ago when I went to Central Park and realized I'm still in love with the girl—woman—who used to be my best friend until I fucked everything up.

I knew I had feelings for Sutton that I never acted on, not because I didn't think she had them for me, but because her father would've never allowed it. In fact, I am pretty sure she had a crush on me at least for a little while. But I never pursued it.

And then I was given no choice but to leave, and I never got to tell her how I felt.

But I had no idea that seeing her again would make me feel like this. Like my throat is closing up and butterflies have taken up residence in my stomach.

Fucking butterflies.

God, I miss seeing her so much. I didn't realize until now. I've been shoving down the thoughts of her for so long—the memories, everything we'd been through, because it was just too fucking painful. I'd become numb to it because I had no choice.

If I hadn't forced the feelings away, there's no way I'd even be standing here right now.

I've never been able to understate the way I feel about Sutton; I could never water it down. Even after three years apart, every single feeling I ever had for her came rushing back the other day with the intensity of a tsunami. I just couldn't name it until now.

I know, I know; I sound pathetic. I'm well aware.

But I can't help it. I'm powerless against my love for her.

Yes, love. I love Sutton Banks, and I always have. Whether or not she would even acknowledge my existence now or spit in my face, if there's even a shadow of a suspicion that she's in danger, I will do whatever the fuck I have to do to protect her.

Even if it means staying away from her if that's what keeps her safest.

Ezra tried to talk to Anthony but couldn't get much out of him except that Xavier had been extra paranoid lately, keeping Sutton under an even closer watch than before, and Jason is lurking around all the time.

I scowl every time I hear that asshole's name. Jason Kincaid gives me the fucking creeps. He always has, even when we were kids. But Sutton would never hear a word against him, and it never did anything but cause arguments between us, so I just kept my thoughts to myself.

Until I couldn't anymore, and, well...that didn't go over too well in the end.

There's one thing that can keep me sane: the fact that Xavier only loves two things in this world, and one of them is Sutton. So at least I can know that he's protecting her. That's probably why Jason is around all the time; extra protection on top of the bodyguard she already has. And while I can't stand the douche, I don't think he'd ever hurt Sutton.

And because of that, I've managed to stay away from the flagship location of Wicked Sins and Central Park, even though it's killing me not to know what's going on.

I think Juri's punishing me for staying behind and getting caught up in the ambush that night. He doesn't realize that if it weren't for Sutton, I wouldn't give a rat's ass about missing out on that commission. I'm making plenty of money from the other jobs he's sending me on, not to mention my mom taught me to be a saver.