Nothing Without You

XVII: Strip Me of My Sanity

Now | Christian

It came without saying that love and all its consequential aspects were insanely innate and unknowing. The hardness of it from the present and the softness of it from the past. Was I being fucking delusional to think that Adelaide was here to see me?

Her lips formed into a knowing frown. She didn't bother to stand up or to nod in acknowledgement. She brushed me off like I didn't just see her a couple of hours ago, like I didn't just fucking wish not to be so weak because of her.

She wore a small sweater, made out of something that shouldn't belong on a body in this weather. It didn't look like it was made for the fucking snow season in New York, it didn't matter that spring was almost here, mother nature didn't bat an eye.

Adelaide apparently did.

Made out of pure net with nothing but a whatever the fuck kind of sheer bra was underneath.

My jaw clenched at her abrasiveness of her entering my building looking like my biggest weakness and easiest prey. She walked into my empire only to tempt me like some kind of Greek seductress. If I was some sort of mythical knowledge then she was the truth honouring my demise and falsities.

In other words, Adelaide Mikael was the reason my dick couldn't fucking relax.

As soon as Karim sent the message that she was here, I retreated from the restaurant like some fucking kid on Christmas. Just to see her and to be near her. What the fuck was going on with me?

I didn't do this. I didn't do the whole follow my fake fiancé around to see if she'll notice my shredded heart and try to fix it—fix me.

I didn't want her anywhere near my heart, matter of fact, near my life. She was havoc, a dent in the plan, a distraction I couldn't decide whether I wanted to indulge in or throw out the window alongside all my other problems.

Adelaide was a piece of work and she making me suffocate with how easily she made me forget about things that should never be forgotten about.

My mom. Her aunt. My dad.

Memories of fake apologies, fake niceties, death, naked bodies, an accident, pulling the plug.

I shook my head.

This delusional piece of me belongs to the Christian who believed that love was worth something. I knew love was nothing but a piece of shit that kept clogging the damn toilet.

My legs moved without any accord, magnetised towards her energy, towards her very being like she could breathe life into me if I just stood near her and basked in her livelihood.

"What are you doing here?" She asked like I didn't own this whole fucking building.

Her voice was nonchalant, unchivalrous, and unbecoming. The weakness carried beneath her eyes, the sadness I saw in the morning, were covered with makeup, her hair tied behind her back, and her smile a little haughty and fake. This wasn't Adelaide.

This was Ms. Mikael, CEO of Starlight.

By the looks of the paparazzi lined up outside the window, snapping pictures of her when they thought she wasn't looking, Adelaide knew exactly who she chose to come as.

It didn't look like she was here to see me at all.

I wasn't the CEO of Moonshine, at least not publicly.

Osama was.

Which means...

"This is my company," I gruffed quietly when she didn't look at me. "I can come here whenever I want."