Nothing Without You

XIX: Midnight Rain

Now | Adelaide

I think I hate men. Genuinely, hands down just hate them.

To think that Osama was better than Christian was the understatement of my mind. Will I continue to harass myself for thinking better of both of them? Yes, yes I will. I should've know that the two stupidly attractive men had the same stupidly unattractive personalities.

Tell Christian what you're really using him for.

Why don't you just shut the fuck up?

God dammit, it was fucking freezing in this building. Did Christian need me to afford the billing of his heating? 'Cause I will, I will pay for it if I ever have to come back to this god forsaken place of a company.

The walls outside of his office were painted different colours; bright and obnoxious; calm and quiet; neutral and soft. Employees weren't sitting in cubicles, instead there was a large table right in the middle of the floor space and people gathered around it in a circle with their laptops and books. There were snacks and food lined up in the middle and people were genuinely smiling. They were enjoying working? Now that's a new one.

Starlight was the opposite of Moonshine. We had cubicles and I don't remember the last time anyone openly smiled at another. It made sense because clearly I was a failure of a boss and didn't focus on my employees like I should've been. If I tell Christian what I'm using him for, which he already knows why he just likes to see me suffer, then I'll add in something else. There was only so much I've done for my employees and I wanted to do something for them.

Well, at least the ones who didn't know about the issues going on under my nose. There were people who worked their butts off to keep that company running and I wonder why. Was it their loyalty to my aunt? If it was, she sucked as a boss. I knew that from the articles I read about her when I was younger. People were terrified of Eda, they avoided her at galas and even men hesitated to talk to her. At one point I thought it was because her beauty could eat someone alive, but the more time I spent reading those articles when she wasn't home, I realized that she was terrifying.

It was admiring but also the source of all my nightmares. One year before the accident, an article was released that she bit a man's pinky off because he touched her inappropriately. Now, girl boss for sure, but biting a pinky off? That's a whole new level of gruesome on a humane level and I can't help but wonder what this cover of hers was; or which one was the cover? The Eda she was with me or the Eda she was with everyone else.

"These are my close employees." His voice surrendered me back to reality. "That's why the set up is like this."

"I don't care," I shifted the purse on my shoulder. "It's not like they know you're the boss."

I turned around to walk past him, but it was a mistake because if I thought he looked horrendously dashing before I came upstairs with Osama, I was wrong. Because now he looked every part of a CEO. His eyes smouldered in a dark, possessive way. He would break down everything in his path, even me... especially me.

He walked past me and my eyes, face, and heart disobeyed me and followed his direction to the employees. All of them stood up, their smiles fading. "Mr. Hayes," they nodded in respect. "We didn't know you were coming today."

What happened next was something I wasn't prepared for.

Christian smiled.

A full blown, overly beautiful smile that I wanted to kiss off his stupid face.

"How many times do I have to tell you all to call me Christian? I'm not my dad." The employees mirrored his expression right after. Christian did remind me of his dad a lot. They looked different, but their actions were similar. Their body language, their way of showing they care. I didn't miss the venom that escaped his throat when he said dad, which was weird because the last I remember Christian and his dad had a great relationship with one another. When we were kids, he admired Mr. Hayes a lot.

I guess times have changed.

Of course they have. Look at the two of you tiptoeing around each other like you hate each other when really your hearts are aching to reunite.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Just because we were getting married didn't mean we had any love left for each other.

Keep telling yourself that.

Great, now my inside voice was acting against me.

"Ms. Mikael, right?" I snapped out of my thoughts once again and looked at the woman next to me. She looked a little older and was much taller. Her eyes did an examining stare at me before smiling. Hers were the first brown eyes I found intimidating. "Congratulations on the engagement." With that, she walked away.

Christian was looking this way, his smile falling at the interaction. His eyes possessed me to move towards him, not like magnets, but more like birds that belonged in the same flock. Except I found myself coincidentally in his flock as he led, and I was way behind him. "I'd like everyone to meet my soon-to-be wife, Adelaide Mikael."

The group of people smiled at me and clapped for the both of us. The disassociated feeling the the room full of people looking at me was resurfacing and I wanted to leave, maybe find comfort in a bathroom stall, or preferably Umaima's apartment.

The group collectively said their congratulations and such, some asked about a ring but I didn't say anything. Instead, Christian replied with, "I made a ring out of paper when I proposed to her, but she washed her hands and forgot she had it on." I almost choked at the white lie. Christian had given me a paper ring before.

During his prom when he took me as his date. A year before everything between us came crashing down. It's one of the last good memories I have of us together.

Flashbacks of that prom night came to mind with us on a bed, his legs applying pressure in the secret place between mine, his lips sealing promises and his tongue wrapping it in presents.

His eyes darkened when he caught a glimpse of me like he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

That scared me.

Christian scared me.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against my cheek, lingering for more than a second, for what felt like more than a lifetime before pulling away and whispering something in my ear.

"Think about me tonight."

Oh.

***

Author's Note [May 11, 2023]:

don't hate me for rarely uploading, i unfortunately now have summer school but i'm trying my best to write and upload!

i love you, thank you for being patient with me.

fingers crossed,
izza malik