𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄

I Can't Take It Anymore

_.~*^•^*~._

Sixteen-year old Ahn Sieun hated school no matter the year, no matter how old she was, no matter the fact today was her birthday. In fact, she hated most of her life. She hated how year after year, it was the same shit added onto another year of living. She didn't ask to be born. She was abandoned at two days old on a poor, unsuspecting couple's doorstep in her baby carrier with only her birth certificate tucked into her clothing, a spare diaper, and a bottle of pumped breast milk. Sometimes, Sieun was thankful that her adoptive parents took her in, and other times, she wished she'd been left to die. At the age of sixteen, she was your typical angsty, depressed teenager. Only, she was no ordinary mortal.

No matter her adoptive parents' best efforts to make her feel well and hope her day go well, it was obvious Sieun wasn't feeling it. Looking back on that fateful day, Minyoung wished she hadn't been quiet that morning and longed to hug her parents to thank them for all they did for her. Sieun glumly ate a few bites of her breakfast before pushing the rest around on her plate. Her mother sadly hung her head, her efforts in vain. When she checked the time, Sieun saw that she needed to leave right away. She grabbed her backpack and quickly tugged on her shoes in the front hallway before dashing out the door without shouting a "goodbye" as she normally did.

Sieun just barely made it to her first period, which marked the first few minutes of one god-awful day. Throughout the day, her peers ruthlessly bullied, humiliated and teased her. One sick, perverted boy even went as far as to sexually assault her during the students' snack break, continuing to sexually harass her after the whole ordeal. That nearly sent Sieun over the edge to take her scissors and end her life right then and there at school. It only got worse at lunch when a girl purposely tripped her, resulting in Sieun dropping her tray and face-planting into her food. It took every ounce of what little strength she had left to not cry when a boy "accidentally" kicked her and pushed her head further into the mess. The humiliation burned her as she barely escaped to the bathroom to wipe her face.

Sieun holed herself up in the library as close to the librarian to avoid any more abuse for the remainder of lunch. Most schoolmates didn't try anything physical when faculty members were around, yet that didn't stop them from cyber-bullying her on social media and her phone number. She'd mistakenly shared her number with a girl at the beginning of the year when trying to make friends, only for them to turn around and figuratively stab her in the back, feeding information to her bullies. Sieun was tired of having to block everyone constantly. She finally slipped up during the period after lunch when she admitted to wanting to take a bath with a toaster and bleed out with scissors in her neck during a fishbowl discussion, resulting in a trip to the mental health counsellor's office.

There, Sieun refused to talk about the ruthless bullying offline and online, including being sexually assaulted and harassed. Instead, she broke down in a blubbering mess, admitting to immense stress she already faced due to schoolwork and said her slip-up was a lapse in judgement. Unconvinced, the counsellor kept her in their office until the end of the day. Unfortunately for Sieun, she had after school activities. Of course, she had to be involved in one of the most dangerous sports. She was on the girls' swim team. She loved swimming despite the continued onslaught of abuse from her teammates she endured during practice.

Sieun didn't know why the school was out to get her. When the swimming team had heats to compete, the competitions provided brief respite from the abuse she endured from her peers. However, swim practice was another matter. When their swim coach wasn't paying attention, her teammates risked their positions and took chances even then to nearly drown Sieun. Nobody in the world in their right mind would enjoy repeated attempts on their life, not even the worst of masochists. Sieun didn't understand why she had to go through such terribly obvious abuse, dangerous at times. She knew she could pull out of the swim team, but she was determined to do something that would make life worth living, even when it meant putting her life at risk.