build me a way - sequel

one.

Isabella couldn't be mad at Fuckshit's answer, she had asked for it. Even though she had prepared for the worst, she still believed that they would be together again. That he would wrap his arms around her and tell her that they would get through it. But he didn't... this time.

To be rejected by the one you loved was the worst pain she had ever felt but she only had herself to blame. She had brought him into her whirlwind of life and expected him to endure it. Maybe in another universe they could've made it?

The days after, she avoided everyone. The boys and Estee called to the house but she told her father she wasn't feeling well and would call them when she felt better. Isabella had to process everything that had happened by herself. How he told her he loved her one day and the next, sleeping with her only to tell her that he didn't want her. She had never met anyone like him and she knew she never would. Even though he had broken her heart, her love was still his.

Ray had called her multiple times everyday to check in on her but she never answered, so eventually she showed up at her doorstep. Isabella's father was at work when she heard the knock on the door so she pulled herself out of bed and went down the stairs. She was surprised to see him but he didn't waste any time to pull her into a tight hug. It was one of those hugs she needed, one that told her that everything would be alright in the end.

"I was worried about you." He said as he let go of her, she opened the door further to let him inside. Isa knew she probably looked like a mess as she hadn't left her bed for days.

"I didn't want to talk to anyone." She replied and she wondered if Fuckshit had spoken to them about what had happened. He probably had, but how much detail had he given him?

"I understand." Isabella moved into the living room and sat down while Ray followed after her.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked and she exhaled slowly. She wasn't sure what she wanted anymore, would talking about it make it easier or harder?

"I don't know. What more can I say? I bet you know it all anyway."

"Yeah right, because Fuckshit is a big talker when it comes to feelings?" He replied, sarcasm tainting his voice.

"Yeah..." She replied, looking down at her hands. Isabella was silent for a moment before opening her mouth again.

"I gave him time to think about what he wanted and then I needed an answer. So I asked him and... He didn't want it, he didn't want me anymore." She had thought about it a lot, what was it that made him give up? Was it the Gemma thing? Or the things she had said to hurt him? Or was it simply because he had fallen out of love with her after everything they had been through?

"I don't believe that... He just..."

"Ray, you can't tell me that. He made his decision and I'm trying to be okay with it."

"Sorry..."

For the days that Isabella had been MIA, she had been crying her eyes out so when she sat there with Ray talking about it then she was too tired to shed anymore tears. It was a feeling of numbness, which was a nice change from the brutal pain she felt in her chest when she thought about him. In some ways she had come to terms with that she was the problem. Ever since she moved to LA she had only made everyone's lives more complicated.

"I know the boys wanna see you..."

"I'll call them back today, I need to call Estee too."

"You haven't talked to her either?"

"No..."

"I don't want you to push us away just because of what happened with Fuckshit." Ray's words reminded her of what Fuckshit had said, how she pushed people away. She was good at that, it seemed.

"I won't... but I don't know if things will be the same." Finally, she turned her head to look at her friend again. She couldn't be around him after everything and that meant that their usual hangouts at Motors would not include her anymore. They were his friends first, until she came and made things difficult. So she would see them still but maybe not as much as she had for the past few months.

"I know."

Isabella hadn't just lost her lover but more importantly, her best friend. It would take time to get used to being without him. Ever since she got to know him and the rest of the group, she had spent almost everyday with them. They were more family to her than her real family. But she had to figure out how to move on, to see if it was even possible.

"Can't you come by the shop today? We can watch a movie and I'll bring snacks."

"What about Fuckshit?"

"He said he couldn't make it so it's fine."

"Okay, I'll come..."

Ray left and she started to get ready. A shower was well needed and a fresh set of clothes would do the trick. So she swapped out her sweats and hoodie for jeans and a crewneck. She debated on whether or not she should put on some makeup but decided against it. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw two tired eyes with dark bags underneath them.

She put her pack of cigarettes in her pocket and then she was out the door. It actually felt a little better getting out. Isabella tried to watch every little thing that passed her by, in an attempt to think of something else than him.

"Hey boys." She put on a smile as she greeted her friends. They were all on the couch until they noticed her, then they all got up and looked at her with big eyes. They looked at her like she was a ticking time bomb, ready to go off at any moment.

"Guys, chill." Ray told them and they relaxed slightly, moving over to greet her. Stevie moved in and wrapped his arms around her and it almost made her tear up. How did she get such good friends?

"I don't want things to be weird... I'm fine. Okay, maybe I'm not but I will be." They all nodded but before they could say anything, the doorbell rang out and they turned around. Fuckshit had just walked through the door. He looked just as surprised as she did for a moment. They clearly didn't plan on seeing each other.

"I thought you were busy tonight?" Ray asked as he went up to him.

"I forgot my car keys here..."

Everyone was silent for a moment until he started walking towards the sofas. Isabella couldn't breathe properly as she watched him get closer. His face was stern and he avoided her gaze, he looked unphased by her presence. On the coffee table, his keys were and he bent down to take them before he turned around again. He said goodbye to the boys and she stood there, completely still.

"I didn't know he was gonna swing by... I promise." Ray said and the other listened.

"I know, it's okay."

Seeing him felt like a dagger through her heart. Now she felt like she knew why she didn't want her, he felt nothing for her anymore. It wouldn't be easy seeing him in the future.