build me a way - sequel

three.

His parents were home, they would be home for the week and then they would travel again for a work conference. He didn't tell anyone but he was enjoying having them home. The house didn't feel as empty when they were. They had ordered Chinese take out and were watching some random action movie on the TV. Fuckshit was slumped in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

"How's Isabella? Haven't seen her in a while." His father said, eyes still fixed on the TV.

"She should come over for dinner this week!" His mother continued.

He hadn't told them anything, he never did. They only knew the bare minimum and that was how it had always been. Around friends, Fuckshit wasn't a private guy but it was a different story with his family. But he had told them about Isabella, which he regretted now. What was he supposed to say now that it was over? He didn't want any pity from them and he didn't want them to pry into what had happened.

"She's been busy." Voice low, not looking at them. A lie was easier than to tell them the truth, that he had ended it. Eventually he would break the news, as soon as he had caught up with everything.

"Oh well, tell her she's welcome over whenever she has time." He didn't answer his mother and just kept his gaze forward.

"I'm gonna go call Ray." He said, getting up from his place on the couch. He moved through the living room and into the kitchen. Fuckshit put in Ray's number that he knew without having to think about it.

"Hello?"

"You wanna meet up?"

"Hey stranger, thought you would never call me up fo real..."

"I've been busy..." He replied with a sigh.

"Oh, I know. So where we meeting? The hill?"

He felt his gut turn upside down when Ray made the suggestion. It was the place where they had broken up, it didn't bring back good memories. But he hadn't told Ray anything about what had happened, just that they weren't together anymore.

"Yeah, sure."

//

Fuckshit made his way there, skating all the way until the hill came. Each time he hated how steep it was but once he was on the top and saw the view, he forgot about the climb. He was there early and took a seat in his usual spot. Before he could light his joint, Ray came up behind him and scared him.

"Bro, you scared the shit out of me!"

"You should've seen your face!" Ray laughed, clearly amused by the situation.

He sat down and Fuckshit could light his joint. Taking a drag before offering it to Ray but he shook his head. He never really smoked anymore, he wanted to focus on his future and not smoke away his brain cells. After a moment of silence, Ray spoke up.

"So, how you doing man?"

"I'm fine."

"I don't believe you..." Ray replied, looking over at his friend.

"Then I don't know what to tell you man."

"Come on, it's me. You tell me everything... What happened between you two?"

Fuckshit blew out some smoke before looking at Ray. He knew if he told him, he would be disappointed. Sleeping with Isabella and then rejecting her, it didn't sound good. He regretted it afterwards but it was a spur of the moment decision.

"I broke up with her."

"Why?" Ray wasn't letting him off the hook, they needed to talk about it sooner or later.

"We weren't good for each other." He looked out over the town and saw cars passing by down below.

"I've never seen you better when with her, what are you talking about? Sure, you've been through some stuff but that's just because both of you act like idiots sometimes! If y'all just start talking to each other instead of doing drastic-" He didnt get to finish his sentence as Fuckshit cut him off.

"You think Isa got better after meeting me? I fucked up and she turned to pills. How the fuck is that good?"

"So, that's what it's about? You think you're protecting her by staying away from her?"

He didn't answer because Ray was right. It was easier to stay away and act like nothing than to have to come to terms with the fact that he had hurt her. It was easier to push it away.

"You know she doesn't care about the past... She wants to be with you."

"I'm not gonna be the reason she starts using again." With many of their problems, he turned silent and she turned to substances. His worst fear was that she would overdose again and she wouldn't be lucky enough to wake up. It would ruin him.

"Then talk to her! Be there for her." Ray debated on if he should tell him that Isabella had been clean since the breakup. She was doing great considering everything going on.

The blond shook his head at the suggestion. Ray made it sound like it was so easy. A few well chosen words and it would all be alright again. That wasn't how the real world worked. He put the joint between his lips again and breathed in.

"I know she misses you and I can tell you miss her too."

"She should be with someone else."

"Now you trippin', stop that shit." Ray shook his head and sighed.

"You can't tell her none of this shit!" Fuckshit said, turning to look at the other.

Ray was in a tricky place between the two of them. He didn't like keeping secrets or having to pick sides. It would've been so much easier if they could just talk to each other and figure it out. But Isabella thought it was over and Fuckshit was too immature to talk to her about it.

"You're my best friend. You can't tell her." He pushed on.

"Fine, I won't say anything. I still think you should though."

They all had been confused when Isabella had kept secrets to spare Fuckshit from getting hurt, she made things more complicated than they needed to be. Now it seemed like it was his turn to make things complicated.

"I ugh..." He started, taking a drag before blowing out the smoke slowly.

"I was kind of an asshole when I did it."

"What do you mean?" Confusion to be heard in his voice.

"We slept together and then..."

"No, tell me you didn't..."

Fuckshit was quiet, not looking at the other. He was ashamed and he regretted it.

"You slept together and then dumped her? Wow that's fucking low, even for you Fuckshit."

"She didn't tell you that?" Since him and Ray hadn't talked much since it happened, she thought that maybe Isa had spilled it all.

"No she didn't! I would've beat your ass if I knew! What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I don't know! Okay?"

His head had been a mess ever since the drama with Gemma at the party. Nothing made sense anymore. He went back and forth about what he should do. If it was best to leave Isa alone and that she would be better off alone or if he should stick around and fight for it.

After the breakup, Fuckshit had driven her home and then he broke down. It had taken a while for reality to set in. He had grown used to having her by his side at all times. Whatever stupid thing that popped up in his head, he could tell her without any judgment.

He knew he fucked up, but he could fix it.