" could you tell where my head was at when you found me?
me and you went to hell and back just to find peace.
i thought i had everything, i was lonely.
now you're my everything. "
fuckshit x oc.
sequel to 'not from here'.
Fuckshit stood frozen as she stepped away from him. He debated on what to do but he knew he couldn't let her walk away. They had a last chance to try to make things right but it wasn't easy. Her words had hit hard but was she wrong? He had been telling himself the same thing, that he was the one who had been fucking up her life. Fuckshit sure hadn't made it easier but he wasn't the blame for it all and they both knew it.
"Hold up..." The blond followed after her and pulled at her arm to make her stop.
"I'm glad you got that shit off your chest Isa but I don't believe it. Now it's my time to talk." He inhaled, it still wasn't easy for him to talk about his feelings or what he was thinking but if it was one thing he had learned, it was that he needed to get better at it. Isabella stood still, not really wanting to listen but it was hard walking away. There was a hopeless romantic in her that always wanted to believe that they could make it, somehow someway.
"I've done some bad shit but so have you. And you're right, I also thought I was doing the fucking right thing in leaving you alone but that's the furthest thing from the truth. You've made me... think about the future. Believing I actually have one. Believing that we have one. I feel horrible when I see you across the room and I hate the guys having to pick sides. They shouldn't."
He was rambling but he couldn't get himself to stop when he had started. Lay all the cards on the table and hope that she would listen.
"I should've told you this weeks ago but... I couldn't. I love you and I should've told you that before anything else happened. But that doesn't mean that I lied, I love you and I have for a long time."
It was tender words coming from the male and Isabella felt herself becoming emotional but she kept her straight face as she listened. It eased the pain in her heart even though it was hard to forget about everything that had happened between them. But she had to think straight, not let herself make any hasty decisions. She looked down, taking a deep breath before she met his gaze again.
"You and I, we're not good together. You're right that our friends shouldn't have to choose." She thought about what she wanted and what would be best for them both. Fuckshit looked at her with saddened eyes.
"We were good before things got fucked up. So we can't ever go down that road again. I don't want to avoid you so... we're friends. No more drama."
It was clear that them being together wasn't good, no matter if they loved each other or not. They couldn't be away from each other either, so it was a compromise. Like turning back the clock and becoming friends again. Fuckshit nodded to her words. Of course it wasn't what he wanted to hear but it was better than what she spewed his way earlier.
"Friends?" He asked.
"Yes, friends."
Fuckshit was silent for a moment before he nodded. He said what he wanted to and so did she. At least it was a step in the right direction. Neither of them wanted to fight anymore and wanted things to be peaceful for once. He shrugged before he spoke again.
"Okay."
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Both had been so focused on each other so they hadn't spotted Ray moving their way. He had been looking for Fuckshit but hadn't spotted him inside but then he saw both of them talking outside.
"Yo, you two okay?"
"Yeah, we are. I was on my way home, I uh... Need to get home and sober up." The fact that Isabella had to start at day one again with her sobriety was disappointing but she knew she had to.
"You want me to drive you home?" Ray asked, meeting her gaze.
Isa nodded and wrapped her arms around herself as the wind was feeling chilly. She knew that Ray would be on her ass about what she had done tonight, both with Fuckshit and with whatever was making her pupils big and black. She was prepared for it though and she knew she needed it to get back on track.
"Bye Fuckshit." Her brown eyes meet his green ones with softness.
"Bye."
"I'll be there in a minute." Ray pulled out his car keys and gave them to Isabella and she nodded. She glanced their way quickly before she walked off towards the front of the house, his car parked somewhere along the street.
"You good bro?"
"Yeah... I guess."
"What happened?"
"She wants us to be friends."
"Friends?"
"Yeah... But I'll settle for it."
"What does that mean?" He could see the hurt in his best friend's eyes.
"That we're gonna go back to how things were in the beginning."
"You think you can do that?" Fuckshit shrugged at his question, doing his best to stay positive.
"I don't know but I'm going to try."
"Go take the bus home with the guys and we'll talk tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you at Motors."
Ray walked off to drive Isabella home and Fuckshit was left standing outside for a moment. He just needed a second to catch up with himself. He didn't know what would happen in the future but he was sure it couldn't get worse. He went inside and looked for the guys, they were all sitting on the couch looking bored.
