build me a way - sequel

four.

Isabella's house was empty as her father was on one of his occasional fishing trips. She felt anxiety build within her chest and she decided to clean her room. She wasn't exactly a person who kept things neat but she had let it go too far. Clothes everywhere and trash on her floor, it was getting disgusting. She started gathering some laundry to do for later before she moved on to her dresser. Going through some candy wrappers, she found something. A polaroid she had taken of Fuckshit.

Looking at it only made her anxiety worse and made her want to get high. When she had been sober, she looked back at her pills with nostalgia. It was like her brain could only see the perks of it and not all the bad things that had come with her addiction. A few nights had been so bad that she had wanted to call Nick... That was how low she could get.

But she hadn't tried getting anything, not once. Instead she did the right thing and called her friends when she needed them. Like she should've done all those times before. Isabella put the photo down and moved downstairs to call Ray. She called Motors but no one picked up so instead she called Fourthgrade.

"Hello?"

"Hey... Do you wanna do something?" She didn't need to explain how she was feeling anymore when she called. They could hear in her voice that she was going through it and needed them there.

"Sure, your place?"

"Yeah. I couldn't get through to Ray either..." She replied, fiddling with the telephone cord.

"Alright, I'll call the rest and tell them to go to your place. I'll see if anyone has a movie or something we can watch."

"Okay, good. Thank you."

"Always, I'll see you in a bit Isa."

She had gotten better at letting them in on what was going on. When she talked about what she was going through, she always felt like she was burdening them with her problems but she had learned that they much rather know what's going on with her than keeping them in the dark.

It didn't take long until Fourthgrade appeared on her doorstep and a few minutes after Ruben appeared. She felt bad about asking them all to come over and exclude Fuckshit but she didn't think he would want to come over even if she asked him.

"Stevie said he couldn't come and I couldn't get a hold of Ray either..."

"Should I have invited Fuckshit?" She asked, feeling guilty.

"I don't know... It would've been weird right?" Fourthgrade replied, sitting down on the couch.

"I'm not sure he would've shown up..." Ruben said, sitting down next to Fourthgrade. Isa put down a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, it was the only thing she could find in the pantry.

"I just don't want things to be weird for you guys."

"Well it kinda sucks." Ruben said truthfully before Fourthgrade slapped his arm. He didn't think Isa needed to know everything, it was hard enough for her as it was.

"What? It's the truth!"

"It's okay." She smiled, looking over at the two boys.

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to say and not say, you know? If I'm supposed to tell you how he's sleeping around or not!"

"Dude..." Fourthgrade said with a sigh. Clearly Ruben didn't know how to be gentle. There was a moment of silence before Isabella spoke again.

"Is he? Sleeping around much?" Voice was soft as she spoke. She had expected him to move on quickly, that was just how he was. When they had broken up before, Fuckshit had been quick to show up with a beautiful girl on his arm. So that was what she had been prepared for.

"I mean-" Ruben started but got cut off again.

"Shut up dude!"

"Yo, she wants to hear the truth! Then we should tell her the truth!"

"It's fine, I've seen him at parties and I'm not blind. I see that the girls are happy he's back on the market again."

"There's this girl..." Ruben started and the other boy just stared down at his hands, not wanting to say anything.

"They've been fucking and we saw them out on a date yesterday."

Isabella took a deep breath, it wasn't what she expected. Him sleeping around? Yes. Him dating? No. That hurt more than she expected. In her mind it kind of confirmed that she had been the problem in their relationship. That she hadn't been enough for him.

"Oh wow... But good, I want him to be happy." She swallowed hard.

"You don't hate him?" Ruben asked, confused.

"Because I love him... Just because he broke things off, doesn't mean I'll stop caring about him." It hurt to say but she still wanted him to be happy, no matter what.

Ruben nodded, he was probably a little too young to have felt that first love, it was something different. Even though Isabella had been through relationships before Fuckshit, it was nothing compared to the feelings she had felt for him. It had been a deep kind of love.

"Okay... Did anyone bring a movie?" Isabella said, trying to brighten the mood.

"I stole this from my brother, I don't know what it is but... It was all I could find." Ruben said, showing a VHS that was clearly homemade.

"Perfect, gimmie!" She said, reaching out to take it from him.

The three of them spent the night watching the weird acting movie Ruben had brought with him. They didn't talk more about Fuckshit or how she was feeling, just enjoying their time together.