build me a way - sequel

two.

"So you are seeing your friend Estee tonight?" Her father asked as they sat by the dinner table.

"Yup..." She said, staring down at the plate in front of her. After playing sick for a few days, she eventually had to tell her dad that she and Fuckshit had broken up. Then he would stop bugging her about how she was feeling.

"I have to say..." Her father started, grabbing his glass to take a sip of water.

"I'm happy you're not with that boy anymore. He seemed like a bad influence on you, I didn't like it."

"How do you know? You never even gave him a chance!" She snapped, looking up at him. Even though things had ended badly between them, it didn't mean that she thought Fuckshit was a bad guy. Everyone just liked to judge him without even knowing him.

"I'm glad I didn't! See how it ended Isabella."

"Thanks for dinner..." Isa said, getting up and putting her plate in the sink.

//

The two girls stood on the sidelines, watching the party from a distance. Isabella didn't want to go but Estee forced her out and there was nothing she could do about it. Everyone thought she had been locked in her room for way too long and needed to have some fun.

"I heard that he's already sleeping around..." Estee said but Isabella didn't know if she wanted to go into it. It was hard enough as it was.

"He can do whatever he wants."

"How can you be so calm about this? He told you he loved you but now he's fucking other girls?"

"I don't have a choice!" Isa snapped back but quickly regretted it.

"He doesn't love me anymore."

It took a lot of energy to explain to people that it was his decision and all she could do was to live with it. Estee put her arm around her shoulders to pull her closer, breakups weren't easy.

Isabella was still battling withdrawals from her pill popping and a broken heart didn't make things easier for her. Every second of every waking hour, she craved something. She hadn't taken anything but she wondered if it was worth fighting to stay sober? Sometimes it felt like she wanted to become worse as much as she wanted to become better. Why did she bother to fight it?

She was about to say something to Estee, just as she saw Fuckshit walk back inside after he had been outside smoking. There were two girls walking by his side. He said something funny which made them both laugh. It was obvious that they were down to sleep with him, everyone could tell. He looked up and his gaze met hers, as before he looked unphased when he looked at her.

"Speaking of the devil." Estee said, watching him and the girls too.

"I need a smoke."

"I'll go with you."

"No it's okay, you shouldn't stand around moping with me all night. Go talk to the girls and I'll come find you after." Truth was, Isa needed some time alone for a moment.

"Alright, just don't run off anywhere." After all the bad things that had happened at parties, Estee barely wanted to let her out of her sight now in case she needed her.

"I won't."

When she moved outside, she quickly picked up a cigarette and started lighting her cigarette. It took multiple attempts before it was lit. Just as she was going to put it between her lips, she heard a voice next to her.

"So, not on good terms with Fuckshit anymore?" Quickly she turned and she saw Nick. It felt like a nightmare seeing him again. She took a few steps back and looked around to make sure there were people around.

"Chill, I'm not gonna do anything." He replied with a grin. Seeing him made memories come back from the worst night of her life. Isabella couldn't get any words out, just standing there and watching him. It was terrifying to look at him after she knew what he was capable of.

"I just think it's hilarious how you tried everything to be with him and he still dumped you as soon as he could. Those girls he has been with tonight are quite the lookers though. Too bad he doesn't think you're good enough to fuck anymore." He was trying to rub salt in her wounds but she didn't need him to do it, she did that good enough on her own.

She saw how Nick's smile widened as he looked at something behind her. She turned to see Fuckshit there, walking up to them.

"Fuck off Nick." His voice was serious as he spoke, standing next to her.

"Wow, the knight in shining armor comes in to save you again." Neither of them said anything. Nick threw his hands up and sighed slowly.

"Fine, I'll leave. Have fun you two and uh... Isabella let me know if you need anything." Nick could probably guess how she was feeling without her substances and he knew it was a button he could push. He walked past Fuckshit, their shoulders hitting each other. Isabella was surprised that it didn't set Fuckshit off, instead he was calm.

"You okay?" Fuckshit turned to her and she was surprised by his question.

"I'm okay."

"Did he do anything?"

"No..." She replied as she shook her head.

Isa looked up to meet his gaze and silence rested between them. She didn't know what to say and neither did he. They were barely even friends anymore, so how were they supposed to talk to each other?

"How you been?" He suddenly asked.

"Uhm... You know, up and down." There was no point in lying because he could clearly see that his rejection had taken a big toll on her.

"And you?" Isabella asked back but before he could answer, people were yelling out his name.

"Fuckshit! Come on, we smokin' now! We need you here." It was one of the girls she had seen him with earlier. It made her stomach turn but as she had said many times, she couldn't do anything about it.

"I gotta go..." He said, avoiding her gaze. She just nodded as a reply and then he walked off. Isabella looked at him as he walked away, it hurt so bad.

She had forgotten about the cigarette she had lit, which she had apparently dropped on the ground when Nick approached. Isa crushed it underneath her foot and then decided to go back inside to find Estee. When she had found her again, she let a few tears fall down her cheek.

"I miss him..."

"I know..."

Estee pulled her into her arms and held her. Would it ever become easier?