finding permanence

21: Sam

"What do you mean he's flying to California?" I hear Max ask over the phone.

"Am I speaking an unknown language or something?" I snap. And I don't feel bad about it. I've had a frustrating day.

Listen, I love helping people. I have always been the type of person that others can rely on. And I'm fine with that.

I would much rather take someone else's burden then give them mine.

But sometimes it's so draining. Today I was supposed to design the next level for the video game, but now it's 9 p.m. and I've barely gotten anything done.

Instead, I spent my day calming Rydell down, getting her to the airport, driving home from the airport only to be bombarded with Scott not long after.

Then, I called Rydell's sister with Scott, helped him book a flight to California to see Del, and that's not even the end of it.

During this entire mess, the last thing I even wanted to happen, happened.

~

3 hours earlier:

"I know, you'll rip my balls off and feed them to me if I hurt Ry." Scott opens the front door. "Seriously though, thank you." He looks much more relived then when he showed up, and I'm glad for it.

"Hell yeah I will," I joke. "And you're welcome. Now go get your girl." He smiles and I shut the door after him, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

Walking back to the living room, I groan as I notice my open laptop on the coffee table. "So much for getting work done," I mutter.

Not even sitting down to try and work in this apartment, I pack my things up and head to the library.

You know when you drive and kind of zone out. Then you go through a stop sign and start to wonder if the light was red because you weren't really paying attention? That's exactly how that drive went.

And I guess that's how my whole day went. I really had no idea what I was doing. The advice I gave out, the comfort I was trying to provide; I just did it without thinking. Hoping that it would turn out alright.

It's safe to say I was thankful to get out of my car and find a safe, secluded seat in the library.

I purposefully picked the most hidden corner in hopes that no one would bother me because if I have to deal with taking care of anymore people today, I might lose my mind.

It's the perfect little spot, with a large window giving me a pretty view of campus. I whip out my phone and snap a picture of the sight, uploading it to my Instagram story without a second thought.

And thankfully, my whole work was uninterrupted. However, was cut when my stomach started to grumble.

I swear, when I get sucked into my work, I really transcend into it.

Everything else around me disappears for a while, and it's just me and my drawings.

Which is perfect, because then I don't have to think about any of my problems.

So when my stomach started screaming at me to eat and I picked my phone up to check the time, realizing that two hours had passed, I struggled to make the decision to leave.

And I would've stayed, but I hadn't eaten since earlier that morning because of all the fun events that happened, and it was now dinner time.