finding permanence

28: Max

"Now all you have to do is press send." I slightly rub Sam's shoulders in encouragement.

The way she thinks about herself is so guarded and completely hidden. Sam walks around with a certain confidence. When you talk to her, you would never think that she has all these self-deprecating thoughts about herself. And I'm not sure how I'm supposed to convince her that her place on this Earth is so astronomically important. At least it is to me.

I may have given myself away in terms of my feelings towards her. I mean I flat out said that I'll love her flaws.

I think that the situation I said it in covered me a little. She's so lost in her own thoughts that she probably didn't realize I practically said I love her.

"Can I read it out loud one more time?" She looks over and I know she's genuinely scared to send this message.

"Of course," I nod.

"Ok. I said, 'Anna, you can't keep showing up out of nowhere. You are doing more harm than good when you do so. You have to respect my space. I am willing to meet up with you, but it will be on my time and terms. And I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for me. Because I need answers and closure from you. I'll let you know when we can meet, but if you seek me out another time, trust me, I will reconsider this entire meeting.' Good?"

"Good." She hits send, turns off her phone, and throws it to the side.

Not even a minute later her phone lights up with Anna's response which reads, "That's fair. Just let me know when you're ready."

"That's good Sam," I encourage her. "When are you thinking about meeting up?"

"If Del and I land this deal with Ubisoft, we will have to go to New York for a benefit to get sponsors. I'm confident that we'll be taking that trip, so after that's over."

I also have no doubt that Sam and Rydell will get the Ubisoft deal. I haven't seen the coding, but Sam's designs are cool as fuck.

"After New York then."

"What are you? When are you planning on meeting with Serena?"

"We have a game in Oregon in a couple weeks. Figured I'd wait until after that. Our training schedule is packed until then." And in my free time I'd rather be with Sam than worry about my coffee talk with Serena.

"You think she'll try to talk to you before then?"

I run a hand through my hair, "If we're at a party together than yeah. She gets chatty when she's drunk."

Looking at the time I realize how late it is. And as much as I don't want to leave, I have an early practice tomorrow. Coach will punish the whole team if my playing is off.

"I should probably head home. I have to be up early tomorrow."

Sam nods, "Yeah. I have a meeting for the video game tomorrow."

Neither of us make a move to leave the couch. "Text or call me if Anna says anything else, ok?"

"Ok." Before I can stand, she pulls me in for a seated hug. "Thank you for being there for me. I don't know how I would have handled it on my own."

"I'll always be by your side Sam. Just like your always by mine." I thread my fingers through her hair and hold her head to my chest. "I wouldn't have been able to get through the Serena situation without you."