ALWAYS, ABIDE WITH ME

Chapter 5: Ethereal Love

Wei Ying  was good at almost everything he tried to do, but some things he excelled at – archery, teaching, mischief, loving Lan Zhan, missing Lan Zhan...! Everyone said that Lan Wangji had suffered deeply and in silence for 16 long years after Wei Ying’s death. Wei Ying  begged to differ. He was going mad!!

His loneliness was because of Lan Zhan's absence. His heart ached because he couldn't hear Lan Zhan's heartbeats next to his own. His world was dark because he couldn't see the golden glow of Lan Zhan's eyes. His mind had fallen mute because Lan Zhan's guqin was too far away for Wei Ying to hear him play WangXian. Nothing mattered anymore. Nobody could reach him except A’Yuan and he gave Wei Ying the space he craved, to live in his thoughts with his Soulmate. If there was a point to his existence, it was Lan Zhan. Simple. True. Forever.

Not for him the trappings of Sect and Clan responsibilities. Not for him the duties that come with birth, power and position. Not for him the weightage carried by filial or public opinion.

He had died wishing with his whole heart to atone for the death of the innocent Wens and so many others. After Mo Xuanyu brought him back, he wished with his whole heart that Lan  Zhan finds peace and happiness. When he realized that he, Wei Ying, was Lan Zhan’s happiness, he’d subjugated himself to Cloud Recesses 4000 rules; so that Lan Zhan could keep him there. He was willing to suffocate so that Lan Zhan could breathe. He would do anything for Lan Zhan. What he couldn't do was see Lan Zhan in pain and this forced separation was hurting Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying had given uptrying to sleep three days ago, he kept hearing Wangji playing at all hours of the day. His core and chest were heavy.  He stopped eating the day Lan Zhan went missing. The wedding feast was the only food he’d forced himself to eat in three days.  His Lan Zhan was hungry somewhere… Wei Ying’s  anguish had only dimmed after Lan Zhan contacted him twice.

Now, he could feel Lan Zhan’s calmness through his ring. Lan Zhan's energy was high. He, being disciplined, must have meditated, strengthering his core and higher powers daily.

Wei Ying gave a watery chuckle. Here he was, crying constantly. There, Lan Zhan’s face must be wet all the time, since his core was empathetic and all of Wei Ying’s tears fell from Lan Zhan’s eyes. He hurriedly wiped his eyes and blew his nose on his sleeve. He felt Lan Zhan’s glare and said, “I know, I have your handkerchief safe in my Qiankun pouch. I am okay, more than okay, fine really! Do you know, Princess Jie, Madam War and Matron Beaver put on the most lavish feast tonight, for XichenGe and A’Cheng.”  He babbled on, his sadness easing as he felt his Lan Zhan  listening intently, as if Wei Ying  was the centre of his Universe, as was his wont.

“A’Yuan misses his A'Die, my Love, though he hasn't said much. But he doesn't sleep with me here on this islet; such a thoughtful boy, he knows I'll keep you up all night!” Wei Ying covered his face as he said that, realising what that sounded like!

“Mmn” Lan  Zhan's voice sounded so eerily close, Wei Ying  inhaled sharply and habitually suppressed the shudder that ran through him whenever his Love was near. He moaned, “Lan Zhaaaan!”

Lan Zhan too, missed Wei Ying terribly. Wei Ying’s looks of longing from those almond eyes. The touches of those slim fingers, when Wei Ying thought no one was looking. The hitch in Wei Ying’s breath when Lan Zhan said ‘Wei Ying’ in his baritone. The silken feel and Lotus smell of the dark curtain of Wei Ying’s  hair. Wei Ying’s laughter, his teasing, his presence, his everyday! He missed everything - Wei Ying was the centre of his world, the essence of Lan Zhan’s life.

Lan Zhan had lost everything once. Now that he’d tasted Heaven, he refused to settle for less. He refused to accept loss. That moan from Wei Ying spurred Lan Zhan to action.