love me until i love myself / l.s

9

When someone that you slept with spends the night in your house, there are a lot of things they see about you. For example, Louis had literally never seen the younger boy with ruffled hair or a morning breath and dark circles under his eyes.

Harry always made sure, he looked presentable every morning when he woke up. He wasn't sure why. It was not as if him and Louis were in a relationship but the couple of times, him and Louis had spent the night together, Harry was always up a few minutes earlier, having his teeth and hair brushed, by the time he went to bed, fresh and beautiful as always.

However, this morning, Harry woke up, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms and raised his body from the bed, confused to not see Louis next to him. He heard small mumbled from the other side of the door, where the hallway is and got up, walking barefoot towards the door. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it, opening it. Louis was standing there in just his boxers, back turned towards the young man, as he talked about Harry did not care or understand. He noticed the boy, turning to the sound of the door opening and shot him an apologetic look.

Harry simply shrugged and went to the bathroom. He took his usual morning piss, washed his hands and face, brushed his teeth and hair and went back to the bedroom, passing Louis.

He opened his drawer and pulled out a clean pair of boxers and a T-Shirt, putting them on.

He headed back to the kitchen, putting water to boil to make some tea and water in the coffee maker for Louis, as he knew that the man was more of a coffee person. Harry, himself, preferred tea in the mornings, but since he did have some coffee, why not make some?

''Sorry about that.'' Louis mumbled, entering the kitchen and Harry shrugged.

'' 's fine.''

''Thanks for letting me crash last night. I am gonna be out of your way now.''

''I'm making coffee, if you want.'' Harry said.

''Oh, um...thank you. I'm just gonna go get dressed.'' Louis went back to Harry's bedroom and once the man was out of the room, Harry let out a loud breath, he did not know he was holding.

Fuck, Harry had never had someone he had fucked with in his apartment before. Out of all people, that had their dicks in his ass, Harry would prefer if it was not Louis. What the hell was he thinking last night? This was so, so weird. Hotels, Louis' office and the strip club. That's all the places they could have sex. Their houses were so out of fucking limit and Harry, like the idiot he is, just invited him.

''Crap.'' he whispered to himself, pouring the warm water in a cup and putting a bag of apricot tea inside. He checked on Louis' coffee and pulled a mug out of the cupboards for him. He poured some into the mug and set it on the table, waiting for Louis to return back to the kitchen. He sat down staring at his drink.

Last night, it was amazing, as always. Harry had missed their warm bodies, sliding together, had missed Louis' mouth on him, his smell, how he felt. Everything. He had missed everything and it freaks him out. He shouldn't miss Louis' touch and he should not miss Louis in any way. He simply fucking shouldn't.

While Louis was away, the older man slept with people, and all Harry did was wank or finger himself, 'cause he could not bring himself to sleep with another person. Fuck, he was pathetic.

When he saw Louis again last night, he was happy. Not only because he would finally get dicked real good, but because Louis was familiar. He knew Louis. Louis was able to make everything much better one way or another.

''Thank you for the coffee.'' Louis said, sitting down to the seat opposite of Harry. The older man was wearing the suit from last night, looking great in it too. Harry did not even dare to look the man in his eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

''No problem.'' he mumbled, taking a sip. They sat in silence for a few minutes, none of them bringing up what Louis said last night or what they did. Fuck, Harry's mind could not stop replaying his words from the previous night. Louis was so gentle with him. That speech about why Harry should not give a crap about what other people said about him. How he held his fucking hands through it. How he pulled him close and kissed him.

Harry did not know how he felt about this whole situation. He was so, so miserable. Louis was a married billionaire and Harry was a fucking stripper. They could never work.

The weirdest part about their situation was, somehow, Harry's exact previous thought.

Go ahead, read it again.

'they could never work'

What the actual fuck was that? Harry wanted to slap himself so hard, he would bleed.

Why would the need to work? What was there to work out? Nothing. It was just fucking, sex, humping, hooking up. Call it however the fuck you want. They just fucked. Harry did not want a relationship with Louis. Pft. He hated the man. Absolutely hated him, 'cause Louis was a jerk. He slept with other people for God's sake!

''Your bed is very comfortable.'' Louis said and Harry looked at him confused.

After everything they said and did last night, that was what he commented on? His bed?

''Thank you.''

''And you're a very heavy sleeper. Did not even move last night.''

''How do you know that?'' he asked him and the older man chuckled.

''I got up at 6AM, 'cause I had to check how things in Spain are.''

''Ew, I look absolutely disgusting in the morning.'' Harry whined, burying his face in his hands.

''You must be one of the few people, that look absolutely stunning, while sleeping and I am not even trying to compliment you. I've already slept with you.'' Louis mumbled the last part and the younger man let out a loud giggle, throwing his head back.

''Thank you. It was nice. Spending the night here, I mean.'' Harry said and Louis looked down at his drink, running his tongue over his lower lip.

''Yeah...''

An awkward silence fell between them again, as they both stared at the wooden table.

''So, how was Spain? Did you go anywhere? Sightseeing?'' Harry decided to ask and Louis shrugged.

''Nah, I was beat by the time I returned from work, so I didn't see as many things as I wanted.''

''You weren't tired to fuck other people.'' Harry's words slipped from his mouth, before he could stop himself and they both raised their head to look at each other shocked, eyes widened.

''I-'' Louis was cut off by Harry.

''I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean that. God, I don't know why I said that. Obviously you have the right to be with whoever you want to be. It's not like we are dating.'' he rushed to say, his hands flying everywhere and knocked down the cup of his tea, both of them getting up immediately.

''Harry, you clearly are not okay with what I said about Spain-''

''Why wouldn't I be okay? We're not together.''

''You're acting weird.'' Louis commented.

''I am not!'' Harry snapped, loudly and Louis' eyes widened. He had never seen Harry act so weird before.

''Okay, okay. I am gonna go now and you should really calm down.''

''I am calm!'' Harry yelled.

*

Woah.

Harry was out of his mind. Completely crazy. Loco. Insane. Stupid. All of the above plus a million times more. What the hell was he thinking?

He acted like Louis owned him something. He was the one who suggested that they shouldn't talk for a while and now he was acting like Louis had cheated on him.

He really needed to chill for a second and stop feeling like this.

*

A/N ELOUNOR IS OVER AND THANK YOU FOR 1K