The Gaze of a King

Chapter Forty- Five | Ties That Bind

"Abigail?"

I crept forward. She roused from her sleep. Her face lit up upon seeing me. I was relieved that she was receiving me warmly after the last time we saw each other. She tried to sit up, but began to grimace. I held my hands out to her.

"Lie down. Please, you need your rest," I coaxed her. She complied, and lied back down on her pillow.

"Are you mad at me, Bathsheba?"

I shook my head at her.

"I would understand if you were," she admitted. "The same emotions you feel, are the same ones I felt when you got pregnant with your first born. It's normal to feel angry or jealous."

I motioned behind me to one of Abigail's maidservants. The brought me a chair. I scooted it closely to Abigail's bedside. I could not bare to be on my feet for long. The pressure on my internal organs and my back was too much.

"You have always been so kind to me, Abigail. You deserved the same from me... you must have felt betrayed or pushed aside when David stole me away from another man and married me."

She stretched out her hand toward me. I wrapped both of mine around hers.

"If you're apologizing for the other day, I've already forgiven you. I want our children to be Allies to each other, Bathsheba- as you and I have been... not brothers at odds... which only leads to war in my experience."

I squeezed her hand.

"I want that too, Abigail. How is your little Daniel," I asked. Her face brightened at the mention of him.

"He's thriving," she exclaimed, mother's pride blossoming on her flushed cheeks.

"I would like to hold him... when I can," I added hesitantly.

"I'd love that!"

I gave her a relieved smile. My soul felt a little lighter that I now set things right with my best friend.

"I missed you Abigail."

My eyes became teary. The loneliness and isolation I had endured without her the last few months came to the surface.

"I'll be back to my normal chambers soon. Now that the King has claimed Daniel as his own."

Silence settled between us. I searched for the words to ask what was still nagging at me. David had said they shared a night together that he did not remember. I wanted to confirm if what he told was in fact that truth. But how to ask her without offending?

"May I ask you something," I put delicately. She nodded her head and patiently waited for me to continued. I surveyed the room cautiously, making sure that her servants were out of ear shot. The last thing I wanted was for palace rumors to spread.

"David didn't remember... the night you two shared...is it true?"

She searched my eyes for the words and questions between the lines.

"It is true that he did not think Daniel was his. That's why I spent my confinement under house arrest. Once Daniel was born I brought him to The King to accept as his son or to condemn. His features were so striking he had no doubt that Daniel was in fact his. He accepted him as his son. My sentence was dismissed. I could understand why he wouldn't remember. I called upon him because I was worried about him. He had not come out of his chamber for days. No one had been inside either. The other wives were too afraid to see him in his state of grief. He was quite belligerent... and I was so lonely without his touch for so long. We were both vulnerable. In the morning I left before he woke."

I took in her words. I searched her eyes for any deceit, but found none. She has been painfully honest with me. Always had been. I had not even considered how hard it must have been for her to watch her husband love another women and abandon you of their affections completely. A drunken night they shared a passionless encounter fueled by the desperation of both of their circumstances. It still stung. Living in a palace full of women who at one point held the King's affection and bore his heirs was brimming with stings at every corner. This was my life now.

"He doesn't love me anymore, Bathsheba," she whispered, hoarsely.

"We shared a love at one time. We're friends now. More than anything. I cherish that friendship. And now I have Daniel. I am content with my life. I have the closure I needed from him. You helped me find that."

Her words tugged at my heart.

"Thank you," I whispered back. "You've always been honest with me."

"He loves you. More than I've seen him love any of the women who have come to palace. No one can threaten that- no one, but you."

She shook my hand to emphasize her words of insight. As if she were trying to wake me up. I turned my head when I heard the faint sound of coos behind me. A maidservant carrying a tightly wrapped bundle of cloth was making her way towards Abigail.

Abigail motioned towards me. The maidservant nodded her head in acknowledgment and bowed before us both. She placed the swaddled baby in my arms. I smiled down at his sweet face. He was pale, chubby cheeks, light green eyes. Sparse curls topped his head with fiery red curls. His nose was tiny and nestled by bright pink lips that opened excitedly for his next meal. I bounced him in my arms eliciting more soothing coos from him. I should hate him. He was a threat to my future and that of my unborn child. He was also the son of my best friend. He was innocent. I couldn't bring myself to hate him.

"You are blessed with a strong healthy boy," I said, commending Abigail. Daniel began to get fussy in my arms, squirming and smacking his pink lips together more forcefully. He was getting hungrier by the second. Abigail responded to his cues and sat up. I gently placed Daniel in her arms. As I watched her nurse him, I couldn't wait to experience the same with my own baby.