Mini G (Editing)

Chapter 27

Goddess POV

"What are you writing about Goddess?" A voice smoothly said out loud. Although, I should be use to his abrupt and mute presence, my heart always stops for a quarter of a second. Instinctively I close my journal and turned to face him, Calvin. He decided to pay me a visit this time in his personal library. Just like any other room in the house, I would rarely ever see him here. Somehow he ends up exactly where I am at though.

"You seem to always be writing in there. Not really surprised, you don't speak too much." He sat in the armchair to the right of me, just staring at my journal. I cleared my throat pulling my journal up to my chest. A reflexive thing I can't help but to do.

"It's nothing that you find entertaining in here." My words came out a bit snarky. As if he would actually be interested in what I was writing. I don't like the mind games, the fake interest only to hook me and drag me along for an unnecessary ride only to come out with the same result. Abandonment.

"I think I should make that judgement for myself. You shouldn't down play yourself or your work ever."

I scoffed. Is he serious? Am I taking him seriously? Would this man actually sit here try to uplift me about something like this?

"I'm being serious."

His eyes finally broke its stare on my journal and focused its gaze on my face. He did this to me a lot, catching my eyes and sucking me into his own. His glossy emerald eyes reminded of the forest on a rainy day. The rain and dark clouds are oddly comforting despite the sadness of its aesthetic.

"Would you mind sharing?" He asked after awhile of staring.

"I don't know if I can." I never been to open about my writing before and I don't know if showing my kidnapper what goes on in my twisted mind is such a smart move. He is persistent though about getting to know me lately on a deeper level. His actions lines up with the words that he promises me. Although, I try to not have faith because that will be my downfall and has always been my downfall.

"Well if I share one of mines can I hear one of yours?" My face tugged into a frown and confusion as I tried to process what he just said to me. Not going to lie I assumed that all of his hobbies consisted of something illegal that he took sick pleasure in. While watching my reaction, he let out a deep long laugh that radiate throughout the room. This was the first real genuine laugh I've heard from him. Something about his laugh had me turning my lips up into a small smile on instinct., despite how I shock I was.

"Are you serious?" Besides contracts and business related papers, I couldn't get a grasp of what he could possibly be writing about.

"Deadly" he answers sitting back in his armchair, his eyes moved back to my chest where I had my journal in a headlock.

"My father thought that writing, well the things that I wrote about were for little girls. He wasn't too fond of that hobby. From his perspective its not manly. That didn't sway me though." He let out a little laugh and continued. "I hid them really well, too well.
I would even lose them myself thinking perhaps my father stumbled upon them by mistake. So I understand the instinct to be protective of your inner world." His words left me feeling a little weird.

I never felt comfortable about sharing because honestly it didn't feel like a safe space to do so. Not too many people were interested in my inner world. And my father? He would have just told me to get out of his face. He held no appreciation for things like that.

"I would like to see your inner world." His eyes left my chest again and met my gaze. He gave a small smile. It's wasn't his usual demonic smile. Or even that fake smile he gave that never reached his eyes. It almost seemed hopeful.

"Follow me." This man leads me all the way through this unnecessarily enormous house. Soon we were in what seems to be a bedroom. My face tinged with heat as my mind began diving in places it has no right to swim in. I looked down allowing my curls to fall all around me, sheltering my face from his penetrating eyes.

Calvins strides over to the bed. It's seemed so cozy in this cold house. A big bed with a plush navy comforter. He kneels and lifts the sheets exposing the the base of the bed, Built into the wooden foundation was a safe. Curiosity was eating away at me as he entered the combinations, he proceeds to pull out many journals. They were still in pretty good shape despite the evident years of usage.

"You have many."

"This is no where close to what I've written over the years. These are just the ones that I was able to salvage." He hummed as his fingers stroked each journal with a gentleness and warmness that didn't suit him.

Calvin attention soon switched back in my direction and waved towards an armchair that sat directly in front of a blazing fireplace. I didn't hesitate as I sat across from him with curiosity overflowing from the inside out. He didn't give me any warning as he took one look at me trying to see if he has captured my full attention.

Then he began reading out loud to me. He voice filled with emotions I never heard him ever convey before. His voice demanded to be heard and felt from anyone able to hear the lines he spoke. Feelings began to overwhelm me, feelings I couldn't quite comprehend completely. Yet it was a feeling that resonated deeply within my heart and soul. Powerful words and powerful emotions to convey those words. He finally finished and met my own eyes. I didn't care to hide anything from my amazement to my obvious need to let my tears overflow. Instead, I just proceed to read aloud my own work as we agreed to do.

Who would have thought we would be here right now? Who could have thought I could be doing this right now? I'm not too surprised that somehow I find myself in a situation like this. The unexpected always rings my doorbell and consumes me completely. So now I don't fight it, I just answer and flow with it. Changes are always happening for me.

This man. Calvin seems to be a new chapter in my life. I don't know if it's for the better or worse. And I can't deny that he does have an impact on me. I can barely get my words out right now as he watches me, but not out of fear. Even though the fireplace began casting shadows onto his chocolate skin. It made him appear more dangerous, menacing yet in this moment I feel the complete opposite.

I feel safe...

I'm stupid. I'm gullible. I'm reckless and so fucking naive is I believe that I am safe with this man in front of me. A criminal, a murder who has executed someone right before my eyes. Yet here I sit exposing every inner intrusive thoughts and fears I carry around with me on the daily. My feeling of safety is based on the fact that he has kept his word to everything he has promised me. Yet promises weren't made to be kept and I've had many promises broken.

I didn't move though. I didn't shut off any connection that we might be experiencing right now. I just flowed. We read and talk to each for hours. The experience is like a new high for me. A dangerous high for me, foolish. How much worse can things get really? And the night went on and on like this. He smiled at me, green eyes glowing in the light. And I smiled back and it was the first genuine smile I've had in months. Despite the circumstances, I am grateful for that.