Under Pressure

You Don't Belong

When I woke up again, I felt refreshed. No one had bothered me for once and I'd finally gotten a good night's sleep, which was surprising since they were arguing about what they thought I should or shouldn't be doing. I wasn't going to question it, so I just got up and got myself something to eat instead. April wasn't there, she must've left since she was sick of everyone. Leo was watching Space Heroes while Mikey occasionally did something to distract him, and Raph was feeding Spike. They were all sitting together, spending time together without me. Everything seemed so much nicer and more peaceful without me there, it was just like that family I saw. I ate while watching them from afar, not wanting to go over there and ruin the moment. Once the episode was over, Leo looked over at them and sighed. "Guys, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm working really hard to make this team as efficient as possible, but it's just all going wrong."

"Why do you say that, bro?" Mikey, of course, was the first to ask questions.

"I mean, we're not getting things done quickly enough, and it feels like you guys just won't listen to me." Leo fidgeted with this hands. "I just want what's best for the team and I want to help people, but we can't help people if nothing's getting done." Of course, when he meant that the team wasn't being efficient, he was putting all of my shortcomings off onto everyone else as well.

"That's not true, stuff's getting done. You're coming up with a plan and once that thingy's done, we'll have everything we need!" Mikey said.

"And don't blame yourself for when stuff's not getting done, that's not on you. That's on whoever's supposed to be handling it and right now, the problem's Donnie." Raph folded his arms, gently patting Spike after a while. Why was I being called the problem?

"Donnie keeps getting upset with me over all these little things and it feels like he just doesn't want me around anymore." Leo sounded upset.

"If Donnie doesn't want you around anymore, that's his loss. You're a great person, a great leader, a great brother, and a great friend." Mikey smiled. 

"If he won't appreciate everything you do, he doesn't deserve you anyways." Raph playfully shoved Leo, who smiled.

"Thanks guys. I don't know what I'd do without you." Leo hugged them both. "You're the best brothers ever." Seeing them acting like a real family without me and actively talking bad about me made me realized I was probably never going to be appreciated by them. April was sick of me and Master Splinter never did anything to stop them from making fun of me. I mean, why would he stop my brothers from teasing me when it was "all in good fun" if he wouldn't keep us from going out and fighting highly trained adults and aliens controlling robotic bodies that shot at us. No one I knew was on my side, I truly was completely and utterly alone. I got up and locked myself in my lab, deciding overworking myself was better than having to constantly hear them talk about what a bad person I am. I had a much easier time putting the invention together since I was upset and using my science as a coping mechanism. It was done soon enough and I was left to do research, the final thing I could do to try to stop the mutant. The research was the main part I'd been struggling with before because it's extremely difficult to find information that's helpful in stopping a mutant that has never existed before, but I knew that no matter how difficult the work was, I was still going to be required to get it done. 

"I wish I'd never shown off any of my talent. I wish I'd just acted average, then just done what I like in secret or something." I sighed as I complained to myself. "If I'd acted like everyone else, I'd have been treated like them. Now I'm an outsider in my own family  and I feel trapped acting as the same person everyone thinks I am. Every single time I start to be something else, I just get pushed back into that box..." I finally found an article online that could possibly prove useful since it was about the animal the mutant was mixed with. I saved a version of the article on a flashdrive and another directly to my laptop, then started reading it. There was no way I was going to lose something like that when it was so important. As I suspected, there was a lot of useful information in the article. If I wanted to, I might've even been able to handle the entire mission on my own. Thinking about that gave me an idea, though it was risky and probably not the smartest choice. If I handled a mission on my own, they'd have to recognize me as a useful member, right? Taking on a mutant that the three of them couldn't take down together would prove that I'm willing to fight as much as they are and that I'm just as strong as them. "If I follow through with this plan, it could make them treat me as an equal, but if I fail, I won't have anyone there to help me..." I shook my head. "No, I won't fail. I'm not weak like they say, I'm just as strong as them."