Under Pressure

Complex Reconciliation

He was... crying? Why was he crying? Why would anyone cry over me of all people? I wasn't doing anything useful, I wasn't fun to be around, and I constantly ruined the modo when I walked in to a room, what about that made me worth crying over? "Why would you leave with them?! You've known us your whole life and you go with someone you just met?!" Leo grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me slightly, as if that were supposed to get any form of answer from me. 

"I... needed time to think..." I looked away, I decided it wasn't safe until proven to be safe. That was the best way to avoid getting hurt. "I came back, didn't I?"

"Yeah, against your will, tied up and looking like you were thrown into a cement mixer full of bricks and really angry kangaroos!" Leo stared at me. "How are you so hurt?! Did that creep do this to you?! Where have you been?!"

"Voice didn't do it, I've been places." I sighed, hoping that answer would be enough for him for now. I had to lie or they'd never trust me to go outside and make my own choices ever again. I needed to be able to leave again before Voice figured out I was gone. "I have to go home now..."

"Home?! This is home, Donnie! What's going on with you?!-" Leo suddenly stopped himself and sighed, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry, this isn't what I wanted to do... you don't deserve to get yelled at. I'll tell Master Splinter you're back home and that you need to be taken care of." Master Splinter? Oh god, he was going to kill me once he found out where I'd been and what I'd been doing! I was completely shirking off all of my responsibilities, and for what? To lay in bed thinking about how pathetic I was?

"It's... fine, Leo, I can handle it myself." I hoped that was going to convince him like it usually did.

"Donnie, no, I'm not gonna give in to that again, I know what's really going on now." Leo hugged me again. "You don't have to go through this alone. We're gonna be here for you. Speaking of the rest of us, can you go get Raph and Mikey, April?"

"Uh, sure." April nodded, leaving me alone with Leo. I didn't want to be trapped with the one guy that made me feel like everything was up to me, I didn't want to feel that pressure building in my chest again, but just like always, I felt obligated to comfort him even though this was a bad time for me.

"We messed things up with you last time, I know we did, but we can work this out. We can make things better, we're going to work on it. Together, as a family. Not a team, not ninjas, a family." Leo seemed to be so sure that I'd even want to try anymore, he seemed so sure that those were the words I'd been needing to hear all along.

"Leo, please let me go... I have to go." I didn't know how else to ask, I was overwhelmed and I didn't want Voice to get mad at me.

"I can't just let you go back to that stalker, Donnie!" Leo insisted, he seemed so determined, the energy and passion he was putting into it was something I could never understand. I could put energy and passion into some things in the past, but something like an argument would usually just result in me giving up. "We don't know who they are, where they came from, and you're seriously hurt! We don't know anything about this person other than the fact that they stalked and manipulated you, then kidnapped you!"

"I wasn't kidnapped, I went willingly." I didn't think that I was that weak. I didn't think I was kidnapped when I didn't even try to escape.

"You were tricked into going, they talked over your thoughts and what we were saying, they never gave you a chance to think for yourself!" Leo pointed out. That was a good point, all of the times they told me that I was overthinking could've just been manipulation to make me question my own thoughts and ignore any red flags. But then again, Leo could just be saying that to try to get me on his side, but what good would that even do? Bring back his scientist? Maybe, possibly, but it's unlikely, even from the viewpoint he'd be calculating from. "You couldn't make a fair choice because they didn't let you!"