Under Pressure

Voice of Reason?

Waking up somewhere I didn't recognize for a moment was startling, but I didn't let it disorient me. I needed to relax, I was in my new home, everything was fine. I was living with Voice to get away from my stressful family, my old family, and I was going to plan revenge with them once I was fully rested. Voice was my family now, I didn't have to worry about anything but getting my revenge and then enjoying the rest of my life how I wanted to. I was in charge of myself now, nothing else was in my way. It was such a freeing thought, but it made no sense. How was I in charge of myself when I was still listening to what I thought would make Voice happier with me? Was it just because they weren't telling me to do it and I was choosing to do it? Was I really choosing it though? Everything I did was after suggestion and persuasion. Was I being tricked? No, Voice wouldn't do that, they were helping me. I needed to stop questioning it. I got up out of bed and slowly made my way to Voice. "I'm awake again."

"Good to see you well rested, Donatello." Voice smiled at me. "I've worked on a map of the city, you can pinpoint important locations you think they visit most often other than the sewers."

"Well, we already know about the sewers, why don't we just go there?" I was confused about that.

"Because you're not ready to face your own previous sensei." Voice explained. "If you handle your revenge there, Splinter will beat you and then take you back, force you to stay. That's why you handle your brothers, then work towards revenge against Splinter when you are ready."

"That makes sense." I nodded, then started putting down different locations we visited. Anywhere we went frequently, our usual patrol routes, and additionally places we never went and why so that we didn't go anywhere that wouldn't be a good idea to go to.

"Good job, you did well." Voice patted my head gently, which confused me. 

"Thank you?" I was confused, but let it happen. Voice wasn't going to hurt me, they were treating me well and didn't seem to have any poor intentions. I needed to relax, everything was fine. 

"Of course." Voice gave me a small smile. "Now, since you're well rested, why don't we pick a spot to wait for them? I'll give you any weapon you want."

"I mean, a staff's my usual, I'm not as good at using other ones." I had to be honest, as embarrassing as it was.

"Why don't we get you a metal staff then?" Voice suggested.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?!" 

"Because you were too busy working on things for those ungrateful jerks." Voice patted my shoulder.

"Fair." I sighed. I didn't want to call them jerks, but they were. They were awful to me and made me feel like I wasn't good enough, so it was reasonable to say that about them. "I'll work on the metal staff instead, I know what I like. I could improve the weight balance to make sure it feels better to work with."

"Creative, I love it." Voice then went to do something else, whatever that could be. I had to, once again, reassure myself that things were fine and that nothing bad was happening, then went to my room and started working on a new staff. Why was it that I could work on new tech without complaint here? I hadn't wanted to do much of what they wanted me to do before, so it was strange that I was perfectly fine working on what Voice wanted me to. I couldn't complain though, it was good that I had motivation to create things, it made me feel useful. If I was useful, more people would appreciate me and treat me like a necessity, right? I didn't want to feel like I needed to be useful, but since it was already heavily ingrained into my mind, I had to just figure out how to cope with it. The staff wasn't hard to assemble, the difficult part was balancing out the weight to make sure it was the right proportion for me to use in combat. Since it was a personal thing rather than an exact science, it took a lot of adjusting and by the time it was ready, I was getting sick of working on it.