Under Pressure

Adjusting

I'd spent an entire week with Voice, doing nothing but listening, nodding, and occasionally saying "okay" since it was easy to do. I didn't want to do anything else, I was too tired (and honestly depressed) to disagree or say much else. I ate what I was given, I drank water when it was brought to me, I did basic hygiene when reminded to do so, and spent the rest of my time staying in bed, either listening to Voice talk or just staring at a wall blankly. I couldn't find the energy or motivation to try to do anything else, I tried a few times but it was too difficult to. I slept for a long time and I'd let my guard down completely within the first few hours of staying with them. They were doing their best to cheer me up, at least I assumed that was what they were doing, and talked to me about my inventions, what I could make next, how I was going to prove my family wrong about me and make them regret how they treated me. It blurred together after a while, it was just the same kinds of speeches over and over. I was pretty sure they were meant to be motivational, but it was difficult to find them inspiring when I'd much rather just curl up in their arms and cry. Speaking of crying, I'd done quite a bit of that as well, not saying anything about how I felt, just letting it all out like they'd told me I could. 

"Hello, Donatello." Voice walked in with my breakfast, they were a bit surprised that I was already awake but they weren't going to comment on it, they knew better than to do that. "How are you feeling today?"

"Okay." I took the breakfast and started eating, it wasn't anything exceptional but it wasn't bad either and it was food, so who was I to take note on anything that I didn't like?

"I'm glad to hear that." Voice sat down beside me. "I figured that today, we could work on getting you active again. It might lift your mood to exercise lightly and get out of bed. You don't want to make yourself weak and tired all the time by never doing anything."

"Okay." I nodded, drinking some of the water I was brought. Why did they still want to take care of me? Why were they putting in so much effort? They brought me food, they told me plans of what I should do in the future, and they continued giving me a place to stay. They didn't just leave me, it didn't make sense to me. Why were they the only person that seemed to care and yet they also seemed to be the most threatening person I'd stayed with for long periods of time?

"You're overthinking again, you should stop." Voice patted my head.

"Okay." I leaned into the pats slightly, trying to clear my head. It wasn't easy, thinking was bound to happen when you did nothing but sit mostly silently and listen to someone speak their opinions on your situation. Then, it was just a matter of realizing you're overthinking and then you'd start overthinking about that, then you'd become self aware about it and the cycle continued. Like I was starting to do right there, in fact. I needed to stop thinking so much, but what else was I even supposed to do? Thinking was the only thing I seemed to want to do, it was comforting to let my thoughts flow naturally and having that constantly interrupted by reminders to not overthink was disorienting. But they were right, it wasn't helpful to question anything anyways since I wasn't going to change anything about my situation. 

"I'm going to start working on training with you today just to make sure that you get plenty of exercise. Someone your age shouldn't just stay in bed all day and sulk." Voice pulled my metal staff from its spot in the corner and sat it near my bed.

"Okay." I wondered if me saying the same thing over and over was starting to get repetitive, annoying, or irritating at all for them, but they didn't seem to react, so I wasn't going to worry about it too much. 

"How does training in an hour sound to you?" Voice leaned a bit closer to me, tilting their head while probably trying to get more of my attention and make me respond more. I couldn't think of any other reason about why they'd continue to talk to me a lot. They weren't going to make much progress with my communication, I didn't want to say much else other than agreeing with them. Doing anything else was difficult and I wanted to take the easy route.