all our stars, bench trio

chapter eighteen

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

june 31, 2021

content warning: brief biphobia, online toxicity

I stare at my phone. I can't stop. What do I do about this?

sammy | @samawiley

   hi everyone, so I know that pride month is gonna be over in a couple hours, so I have some things I want to say.

sammy | @samawiley

   starting off with what I guess is the easier thing to say, I'm coming out as bisexual. a small number of people already knew, but I know a lot didn't. I'm aware that a lot of people who follow me probably aren't ok with that, and I'm ready to take any insults you throw at me. what I'm about to say next, i don't think i'm fully ready for the response, so please treat me and the other party with respect.

sammy | @samawiley

   I'd like to make a public, sincere apology to @sleepyjune. For the majority of the people in my life who were unaware of the extent of our relationships — june is my ex-girlfriend.

sammy | @samawiley

   unfortunately, we didn't end on good terms. I was really terrible to her near the end of our relationship because somewhere along the way I had developed a dire fear that someone would find out about us. I treated her like a burden and I shut her out when all she wanted was to help and to be with me. it wasn't fair to her, and it's still one of my deepest regrets.

sammy | @samawiley

   so, again, I'm so sorry june. it would mean a lot if everyone could please respect our privacy at this time. I will not be answering more questions about our relationship at this time, neither will my boyfriend (@grandpasoveralls). so please do not speculate, as I know june has a growing fandom who tends to think that they're owed answers and explanations. love you all, happy pride.

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What the fuck? How do I — what do I respond to this? Should I make my own statement? Should I leave it be? Do I DM her?

I groan and rest my phone on my face.

"June? What's wrong?" Niki appears from the shadow in the doorframe.

We all gathered at Niki's house to meet her and a guy called Jack. Jack was pretty nice, and he seemed to be smarter than he looked. Niki's was really cool, albeit pretty shy, but I liked her. She's good conversation — interesting and funny. I'm a little jealous at how good she is overall.

I beckon her over. She's in a white tulle blouse and skinny jeans. Her eyeliner is perfect, except for a smudge on her left eyelid.

"What's going on?"

I hand her my phone. "Keep scrolling, it's a thread."

She takes a couple minutes to read it through, then hands my phone back to me.

"That is a lot," she says, her soft German accent flicking off her tongue. "How are you feeling about it?"

"I don't know. I mean? I wish she had asked me before revealing my personal life to the entire entire internet? But I'm glad she apologized? I'm happy for her for coming out? I'm happy that she was respectful?? There's a lot to unpack." Niki nods in agreement. "And it's #8 on trending, which is just the icing on the cake," I say, my sarcasm dripping through my tone.