Betrayed & Healing

honeymooning

The first week

Once we arrived, we checked in and went to our honeymoon suite. They'd gone all out, flowers, wine, champagne, flower petals on the bed and in the jacuzzi. Tae practically squealed at it all, dropped his bags and dive bombed onto the king size bed making me laugh. I shook my head and then put my bags down "you okay with sharing the bed?"

"I'm a cuddler so the real question is, are you okay with sharing the bed?"

My heart dropped for a second. The only one I'd ever cuddled with was no longer part of my life. I had no one anymore.

"M' fine" I nodded and looked away, I pretended to look around the suite, walked around to the different areas and scoped it all out. We were loaded on food and I made a mental note to get some tea sent up because Tae didn't drink coffee. Apparently he hated it.

"Coming with?" Tae asked as he emerged from the bedroom, he was wearing white swim trunks but had a pink silk cardigan that went down to his ankles over him and a white hat, with a book under his arm

"You go ahead. I'll join later" he nodded and then walked right out the sliding doors to the beach. Once he was gone, I sat on the bed and let my mind wander. I wondered what Wonho was doing..how he was feeling..about the aftermath of my actions. I grabbed my phone and went straight to dispatch, of course the news was everywhere. Tae and I had sworn we wouldn't look at any of it, knowing they'd be tearing us to shreds for what we did. But I couldn't help it.

Wonho was the abandoned scorned lover, but he deserved it. Some articles praised me for what I had done. Others..not so much. How could I have hurt him like this? Him cheating on me was one thing..but me marrying another man out of spite was another. I put my phone down and looked out the window at Taehyung lounging in his chair, I felt guilt rise up inside of me. The articles had torn him apart. The secret lover of both men, the whore of a homewrecker who was a gold digging slut.

He didn't deserve that.

I picked up my phone again and called Namjoon, I would pay anything to make those articles disappear. I might not know Taehyung very well, but I know him enough to know that those articles would make him hate himself, all he did was agree to my plan and follow through. None of this was on him. We were both burned by the same flame.

Once that was settled I put my phone back into my suit case, changed into a pair of swim trunks and grabbed my towel before walking out onto the beach and laid on a chair beside him, he gave me a soft smile before continuing to read his book.

We were going to be okay.

Right?

That night we went out to eat at a nice restaurant, we had a few glasses of wine with dinner and talked, conversation flowed freely and it felt nice to have someone there with me. It felt like talking to an old friend, it wasn't forced and he seemed genuinely interested in the things I had to say.

I enjoyed listening to him talk about his student, the kids absolutely adored him, and when he talked about his side business his face lit up like a kid on Christmas, it was adorable.

However, once we got back to the hotel and crawled into bed the awkwardness settled into my chest. I'd never shared a bed with anyone besides wonho. Taehyung fell asleep easily while I laid there awake and staring up at the ceiling. My eyes watered as I thought about Wonho. All these years..wasted. my time, energy, effort, love..none of it mattered in the end. I wasn't worth being loved and I knew that now.

If my own parents didn't want me, what made me think anyone else would?

I scoffed to myself and wiped my eyes before rolling over onto my side, it was then that Tae rolled over his sleep and spooned me. He held onto me tight and groaned in his sleep as he threw his leg over me, my body stilled and my eyes widened in panic. He warned me, yes. But that did nothing to prepare me for the memories that flooded my mind of Wonho or the comparisons my brain conjured up about the differences between the two men.