A Fiery Dalliance

XII

"A family can be the bane of one's existence. A family can also be most of the meaning of one's existence. I don't know whether my family is bane or meaning, but they have surely gone away and left a large hole in my heart." Keri Hulme, The Bone People

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XII.

Five days after Perrie had left for London, an express arrived for Joe from his brother.

24 June 1825

Dear Joe,

The invitation to the Dowager Duchess' ball arrived within a day of your letter. I have spoken to Father about it, and he has agreed that we will both attend. I believe Father wants to properly reacquaint himself with the Duke, and I am certain he will want to hear how hard you have worked throughout your tenure at Ashwood.

Thank you for your letter, newsy as it was.

Joe could hear the facetiousness in his brother's quill.

My journey home from Cambridge was perfectly fine, though I am looking forward to the change of scenery in Hertfordshire. I greatly look forward to the day when my studies are complete, and my time is my own to do with what I please. I can assure you, brother, that I will not always be a stranger to you. We were not meant to be separated by long absences.

I have passed on your regards to Father, and he has informed me that we will travel to Ashwood at the beginning of next week. We expect to arrive on the second of the next month.

You were quite right about my appearance also. I now possess an abundance of freckles and my red hair is now one with the carpet. I have had to look upon our portrait to recall your face. I had been quite certain that your eyebrows were blue, and your ears were the size of tea saucers.

I look forward to being with you again soon, brother.

Yours ever,

Ed.

Joe swallowed. Loudly. He had forwarded on Cecily's ball invitation to his father and brother fully expecting a rejection. Joe's father had never been one to show any interest in him or what he was doing. But then he supposed that this was an invitation sent from a very distinguished lady, and his father had been handed an opportunity to socialise with people of his own rank or above.

But the very thought of being in the same room as his father again brought him a considerable amount of anxiety. Joe felt as though suddenly his two very different, very separate worlds were about to collide. He had worked very hard to forge himself a life after what had happened. The duke had been guiding Joe, and Joe had been able to develop some skills and confidence after his world had imploded.

The notion that his father would once again be reacquainted with the duke was almost too much to bear. The idea that his father would share the way he saw Joe with Adam made him feel sick. He worried that the delicate respect that he had built with the duke, when Perrie was not preoccupied with tarnishing it, was about to disintegrate.

Joe's stomach twisted, and this sensation was enough to keep his mind distracted that he did not realise that he had pulled out his pocket watch. He had absentmindedly flipped the clock over and was brushing the pad of his thumb over the treasure he kept behind it. This repeated motion eventually brought Joe's mind back to his conscious reality, and he took a deep breath.

Thinking about Perrie made him worry then. What if neither of them could help themselves? Joe certainly had not been able to resist toying with her despite his determination to please the duke. Perrie was worse than he was. What if she pulled something ridiculous in front of his father?