A Fiery Dalliance

XXI

"How hidden the heart, Nance thought. How frightened we are of being known, and yet how desperately we long for it." Hannah Kent, The Good People

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XXI.

Joe knew that he ought to have been angry with Perrie. Perhaps he would be tomorrow. Perhaps he would resent the fact that she had not known it was him again tomorrow. But he couldn't be angry now.

As Joe had danced, he felt the lightest that he had in years. Nothing could seem to bother him in those few moments, not what his father had said, not even Perrie. She did not bother him at all. Instead, she smiled.

Her smiles were for Ed, but not even that could affect him then. He could pretend that she knew it was him for a brief interlude. He could do so because Joe quickly realised that he coveted those smiles. He wanted those smiles above anything else, and he could happily play pretend in that moment so that he received them.

She looked up at him with her beautiful, blue eyes. How had he ever cursed them as too big, too curious, too annoying? How could he ever have willingly dismissed any opportunity to look upon them? Joe's eyes fell across the rest of Perrie's face, and he could only feel his own smile grow. Her cheeks were flushed from the dancing, but she had not looked away from him.

Perhaps he would find her annoying again tomorrow, but not now.

A few wayward tendrils had loosened from the pins in her head. Joe found that he appreciated this immensely. The very slight disarray of dark hair made her look more like herself. She was still Perrie, even if she was dressed like a princess, and Perrie was looking at him.

"Do you still want to dance the next, Mr Parish?" Perrie asked him.

Joe nearly jumped at her sudden question, and he wondered for how long he had been standing in the middle of the dance floor staring at her. A quick glance around them told Joe that the musicians were about to play the next dance.

"Oh, yes," he breathed. "Of course."

Perrie beamed, and she allowed him to lead her back into position.

Joe could not believe the pride he felt as he walked those few feet with Perrie on his arm. He barely noticed the looks of envy from the gentlemen in the room who had been denied the opportunity to be introduced to the most eligible debutante-to-be. It was the simple fact that he was walking with someone who he could feel from deep within was glad to be with him.

Were Joe not a fool, he would have reminded himself in that moment that Perrie was glad to be standing with Ed, but he was indeed a fool, and a glad one.

They both took their places in line, and once again faced one another. As the strings began to sound and the dancers began to move, Joe found his feet stepping towards her with a mind of their own. His eyes did not leave her own for the entire sequence, and for the next two minutes they turned about the room together as one.

Joe wondered if Perrie knew just how reliant he was on her during their dances. He prayed that his deafness did not give way to clumsiness. He lost the music on some turns and simply moved with her instead, but if Perrie noticed, she did not say anything.

When the music ended, the dancers all stopped to applaud once more. It was the first time that Joe's eyes had left Perrie's, and instead now he was looking at the back of her head. A singular curl was holding on for its life in and amongst the pins, and it was one swift movement away from tumbling down her back. Joe longed to pull it free. He was far too impatient.

When Perrie turned back towards him, Joe was slightly startled, and he hoped that he did not appear as though he had been obviously staring at her.

He did not understand what had come over him in the last half an hour, but Joe was certain that if Perrie did not do something to annoy him quickly then he would soon be lost.