Colleagues

Chapter 20 | Sadie

The moment I saw Margot the next day, I realized she knew exactly what I'd done. In addition to the fact that she was blatantly ignoring me, I felt the old Margot returning, her cold exterior shrouding her feelings in a darkness that was impenetrable. I desperately wished to go back to the Margot from a couple of days ago, the Margot who liked to watch romcoms and wanted me to like her apartment.

I was aware I was probably responsible for this change, but if I could go back in time I would still do it again. Margot needed to get help, and as much as I wanted it to be true, I knew I couldn't help her alone. A part of me was curious about what had gone down at the police station. Had Margot given anything away? Would Christian finally face the consequences for the things he'd done?

But watching Margot now during the firm's weekly meeting, her face was made of stone, her expression stoic to the point of apathy. She didn't even acknowledge my presence. It took Cody sitting beside me, whispering silly things in my ear to remind me that I still existed.

Her being mad was understandable, probably expected. I knew I shouldn't be surprised she'd realized so quickly it was me, but part of me was hoping somebody else had caught a glimpse of her secret life. This information was my burden to carry, and I wasn't going to remain complacent just because I wanted her to like me. And yes, I wanted her to like me. More than most.

Suddenly, Margot looked up, her eyes meeting mine. There it was, a flash of something. Anger? Confusion? Why did you do it? she seemed to be asking . If I could just talk to her I could explain everything. But I knew she wouldn't let me get that close.

Regarding her more clearly now, I noticed how deep the bags under her eyes were etched into her face, dark crevices on a smooth surface. Every so often, her gaze would wander around the room, flitting from side to side. But not in the observant way that I was used to from Margot, but rather in a paranoid, anxious manner, like some intense fear was eating her up inside. I fought the urge to walk up to her and wrap my arms around her, protecting her from the treacherous world that surrounded us.

When the meeting ended, Margot got up and left without saying a word. I prayed that her resolve would eventually crumble. She couldn't give me the silent treatment forever, right?

~~~

I was wrong. Not only had Margot succeeded in avoiding me the entire day, she seemed to evade all attempts at being seen. Even when I found excuses to walk by her desk, she wasn't there. Where she had gone remained a mystery.

Now less than an hour remained of the work day and I still hadn't spoken to Margot. "Margot Lopez, what are you doing to me?" I muttered under my breath.

I racked my brain for any explanation for my overwhelming need for her to forgive me, to understand where I was coming from. But my mind came up empty.

I turned towards my partner on the case, watching her work effortlessly. She was so focused she didn't even notice me observing her. I knew I wasn't going to get any more work done today. My thoughts were so far away now that even my growing need to succeed with this case couldn't bring them back.

"Alexis, I think I might leave early for the day. I can't seem to focus on anything." My voice came out more strained than I wanted.

Alexis raised her eyebrows but chose not to address it, probably figuring I would tell her what was bothering me if I really wanted to. Part of me wondered how my coworkers perceived my relationship with Margot. Could they sense the evident tension between us? Although what type of tension, I wasn't sure.

I wondered if any trust Margot possessed in me was gone now, never to return again. The thought made me sick to the stomach. I had to get out of here, now.

As I exited the office, a flash of movement caught my eye. There she was, walking with purpose towards the elevator. Despite clear indications that she hadn't slept at all, it was still the same old Margot. Not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle visible on her gray pantsuit, her jaw clenched so tightly it must've hurt.

"Margot!" I called loudly. "Margot, wait." But she ignored me and kept walking, pressing the button to go down.

I ran to catch up with her, barely making it into the elevator before the doors shut behind me, leaving the two of us alone together in the small space. For a second we locked eyes, the magnitude of the silence threatening to swallow us both whole. I opened and closed my mouth, suddenly incapable of forming anything coherent.

Margot turned away from me, her expression blank and cold. She moved to press the button to go down, but before she could, my ability to speak came back to me.

"Margot, please listen to me," I begged. To my horror, my voice came out weak and small.

She turned back to face me, her gaze threatening to tear me apart. Her eyes narrowed and immediately I was taken back to our first encounter. Even as her vicious words managed to expose weaknesses I didn't know I had, and her perfection and the steel walls she put up shook me to the very core, I still could feel an invisible force drawing me towards her.

And I felt it now, even though the way she was looking at me caused my eyes to water against my will. It was magnetic, and I found myself unconsciously moving towards her as she did the same.

"I know it was you," she seethed, only inches from my face now.

"I know," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "I was just trying to help. What was going on wasn't okay."

Her eyes blazed with anger. "You don't know anything about my relationship. You don't know anything about me." She took a step forward, and I instinctively turned away, believing she was going to slap me. But she didn't.

Instead, her hand reached out and grabbed the collar of my white blouse, forcing me to face her. I knew I must look stunned. Her grip wasn't tight, but I wasn't expecting this. I felt my back hit the wall of the elevator and I thought I might hyperventilate.

But I held my ground. "I do," I replied, meeting her eyes once more. I felt her grip on my collar loosen ever so slightly. I felt my voice soften. "I do, Margot. And you can hate me for as long as we work here together, but I regret nothing."

"I was at the police station for hours."

"I was protecting you. I know it might not seem like it now, but you could get seriously hurt. These things get worse and worse until it's too late and you know it." I could hear my voice begin to shake but I fought it as I forced myself to continue. "I know you love him, and I know you're so certain that things will change. But they won't. They never do."

Margot looked at me, and I realized her expression had changed. She looked dazed and overwhelmed. There was something else there too, something I couldn't decipher.

I'd never seen her like this before, and it shocked me into silence, the only sound filling the elevator was her heavy breathing. Our heavy breathing, I realized as I noted my own chest moving up and down rapidly and my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I wondered if she heard it too.

"I am so sick of you messing with my head!" she shouted. I realized that her eyes had glazed over, tears threatening to spill out of them. I felt movement below my chin and looked down.

The hand holding my collar was shaking, and I realized her whole body was trembling. I felt my own body take over, any reasonable thought buried somewhere deep in the depths of my mind. My hand found hers and grabbed it tightly, my fingers wrapping around hers until the shaking ceased.

I looked up to find her eyes focusing downwards. Was she looking at my lips? Her gaze quickly moved upwards, meeting mine again. Her cheeks were flushed, a deep shade of red. We were so close now, we could be touching.

"Margot," I whispered.

Her other hand moved upwards to frame my face. Her thumb pressed on my cheek, her fingers wrapped around the back of my neck.

"Fuck you," she said softly, moving forward.

And then her lips were on mine.