Colleagues

Chapter 21 | Margot

I didn't know what the fuck was going on.

All I knew is that I loved the feeling of Sadie's mouth against my own, warm and soft. And I loved the feeling of Sadie's hands as they wrapped around my waist, holding me so tightly like she was afraid I would disappear if she let go. Or turn into a pile of ash on the floor. To be fair, I was afraid I would, especially when I felt her tongue brush up against the entrance of my mouth, an invitation I welcomed gladly.

I heard the desperate whisper of her rapid breath and felt the loud drum of her heartbeat close to my own, making my chest ache with some overwhelming emotion I couldn't place. My hands left her face, getting lost in her beautiful, silky hair.

I couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. I wanted Sadie. I wanted her so much. It wasn't until this moment that I realized how much I needed to feel all of her all at once. I felt my own leg instinctively slide between hers, pressing against where I knew she needed me most. She let out a choked gasp that made something inside me flutter that hadn't been awakened for a very long time.

I needed more. God, I needed more. My hands left her hair, running down her shoulders, down her back, and grabbing her ass, as the rest of my body continued to press her into the elevator wall. I felt her panting against my mouth as I felt her own hands leave my waist, going higher. Higher.

Suddenly the elevator pinged, and both of us jumped backwards as if struck by an invisible force. I panickedly fixed my blouse and hair, looking up to see her doing the same. The elevator was moving upwards, probably towards the 10th floor where all of the partners worked. I would rather die than be caught making out with my coworker in the pristine yet ridiculous confines of one of Park & Johnson's newly renovated elevators.

I turned around to face the elevator's silver, reflective wall, wiping away my smudged lipstick with the back of my hand. I turned back, noting the same thing had occurred with Sadie's own lipstick. Instinctively, I walked over to her, reaching out and wiping it away, acting more out of self-preservation rather than compassion. I saw the predictable flush return to her face, as she turned away from me, her heavy breathing the only remaining evidence of what we had done.

When the elevator doors finally opened and two partners I had met on a couple of occasions stepped in, I knew it appeared as if nothing had happened, the crime we had committed merely a figment of our own imaginations. And that's exactly how it felt, like a perplexing dream I would continue to think about in the days to come.

Hell, I didn't even know I was gay. All I knew, is my reaction to her - how my heart rate seemed to sync with hers, how my stomach seemed to ignite in flames, how my ability to breathe seemed to abandon me - was very very real. 

The partners were expectedly oblivious, conversing with each other about the latest case they were working on. I wondered if this would be my life if I received my long-desired promotion. I wondered if I would become completely wedded to my profession, just like the workaholics in the movies or my family's unheeded warnings if I continued my crazy hours and crazier ambitions.

I looked up, my eyes magnetically drawn to Sadie's who was separated from me by the elevator's new occupants. Hers were faintly dazed and glassy, probably from the intensity of our encounter only moments before. I felt the involuntary urge to walk over to her. To hold her face in my hands and look into her eyes, grounding her until the expression on her face was clear again. I buried that feeling deep inside of me.

After an eternity, the elevator doors opened once more. Out of courtesy, I let everyone walk out before me. I turned towards Sadie, hoping to talk to her or at least get some insight on what had just transpired. I needed to know if it had actually happened or if it really had been some twisted daydream.