a series of [un]fortunate events || a wenclair collection [explicit]

24. stink, part 2: you smell like eggs

A/N: Back by popular demand lol admit it, fart jokes are funny xD This was a semi-request from GIVEMEAPPLES00 because they, like myself, wanted a follow-up to this, so you're welcome xD

Wednesday's POV

I hate admitting this to anyone, but this was a matter of life and death. Recently, I have been on this diet of mushrooms and various sources of roadkill. Enid does not know this, but I have been experimenting with which types of foods will cause an increase of gas. I have been... having difficulty with my stomach, and to make matters worse, this diet that I am on is making me suffer from excessive flatulence. Normally, it does not bother me, but I can barely hold them in while I am in class. I do not call myself self-conscious, because everyone does it, as it is a natural bodily function, but I can clear a room, and not in a very stealthy way... 

"Willa... I know you can't help it, but at least open a window..."

My stomach was practically begging me to release more, but I was already causing our dorm room to become drenched in my own foul odor...

"Enid, what do I smell like right now?"

Enid made a face of disgust. She told me once that her sense of smell as a werewolf was increased, which meant that I was probably suffocating my poor wolf with my gas...

"You smell like eggs, Willa... like really rotten eggs... and I know you're still letting them off... I'm surprised no one lost their lunch in class today.."

I had laid down on my bed, the smell becoming increasingly worse every second, but I could not stop until this discomfort was dealt with. Sometimes I wished that they made noise, then it would not smell as bad as they do right now...

"Would you rather they were louder?"

Enid practically hurt her neck nodding her head. I frowned in annoyance.

"You know, Enid... you can certainly stink up a place too. I've had to endure some of your late-night hunts and the aftermath that follows."

Enid gave me one of those pouts that I constantly fell for.

"At least they don't constantly smell like rotten eggs... Well... okay, I guess we both can stink up a room."

I smirked, both from Enid's response and the fact that I released more toxins into the room.

"Oh my god, Willa... How long is this going to be going on for?? I can't sleep in this stink-filled room tonight if you're going to keep letting off these silent stinkers!"

I raised an eyebrow. 

"Are you sure you want Yoko to suffer your stink as well?"

Enid walked over to me and stared.

"Wednesday, I love you but your farts fucking stink. Please, for the love of God, quit this diet before we die from farts. I know mines stink, but yours is like... a nuclear bomb filled with rotten eggs exploded in this room..."

She had a point... even I was starting to gag from my own gas... Suddenly, I stood up.

"Enid, as much as I wish to continue this stinky conversation, I really need to go to the restroom right now..."

Enid waved the air, her nose plugged up.

"Yeah, go and handle that, stinky. And please, no more eating fart-fueled foods and stinking up our room... I love you, but you stink so bad..." 

Honestly?

 Yes, yes I did stink... really bad..

E N i D.

A/N: Now, I already know what you guys are about to say, but I find fart jokes funny okay? xD So I am going to make several of these every so often just for shits [hehe] and giggles. And honestly, Wednesday probably would eat foods just to get rid of annoying people lol just let some off and watch them run away. She could weaponize them farts! XDDDD Next chapter will have fluffy, cuddle time so look forward to that!