𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘
adjective
displaying a complete lack of feeling or consideration.
Lilith Volkov is a student at Nevermore Academy, a school for outcasts. She's always found it quite boring, until a certain raven haired girl arrives at the school...
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"Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it." - Emily Dickinson
I look up at the ceiling, thinking about my feelings towards Wednesday. I haven't slept all night, the feeling of loving someone romantically and the possibility of them not liking you back. With Wednesday it's different she doesn't show any emotion and she would probably despise the feeling of love, there upon if I would ever express my feelings towards her she would presumably insult me for ever thinking she would like me back. In addition to that does she even like girls, I could completely embarass myself infront of her. The thoughts are making me extremely paranoid, I need something to take the edge of. I quickly gzt up to get a cigarette, my book and a lighter and sit on my chair on the balcony. I light the cigarette and take hit, the feeling of the nicotine entering my lungs and slowly killing me, is to me one of the best feeling ever. I open up my book, I needed to start reading a different book because I lent Wednesday if we were villains, I decided to start reading The Goldfinch. (Donna Tartt is one of my favourite authors, I love The Secret History, and The Little Friend. I don't know why I haven't read this one yet. I probably forgot, because I have so many books on my shelf.)
I am interrupted by my peaceful morning reading, by Wednesday walking in with my book in her hands. I don't bother to get out of my chair, she is already making her way towards the balcony taking a seat on the chair, on the left.
Her presence gives me anxiety, I hate anxiety. Me and anxiety have a difficult relationship, when the anxiety builds up, the air gets harder to breath and my head gets caught up in the wind. I always think it's my fault, I keep letting it fool me. My anxiety goes hand in hand with my overthinking. The thing with anxiety is you can't run away from it (like depression), it keeps haunting your thoughts, making you shake. Tugging you back into an imaginary trap, when you are most vulnerable.
"I finished your book, it was good," she asserts.
"I'm glad you liked it. So, are you excited for the harvest festival?" I ask changing the subject. I know that is going to be the way we will escape, if she will still let me go with her. I forgot to tell Zella about leaving Jericho, she will feel betrayed if i don't tell her. I'll tell her there, I'm getting nervous by the thought of how she might react.
"You mean my plan of escaping this academic prison," she notices I have a cigarette in my hand and snatches it out of my hand and throws it over the balcony. I blush when her hand touched mine for a second. I am irritated by her throwing my cigarette away, but i'll forgive her for it.
