Little Piglet ♡ Jaemsung

⁹ unattainable

"I passed my test!"

Jisung went in for a hug without even thinking. He watched jaemin's face expression anxiously right after but the boy hardly flinched. He was too busy trying to get a hold of the flailing paper to see for himself.

"jalhaesseo!" Jaemin exclaimed as he sat in his chair slowly like an old teacher. "So you were paying attention." he said sarcastically.

Jisung scratched his head bashfully. "Maybe because it's you."

Jaemin's eyebrows rose. "because it's me huh?"

"uh yeah" he scrambled, "because...you're my favorite tutor."

Jaemin bumped the boy with his shoulder, "favorite? I hope I'm your only tutor."

Jisung's face became flushed. They'd become closer in the past month, so Jisung wasn't as rigid as before but he still flinched at Jaemin's affection because it was always unexpected. because of the random physical moments he began saying more cute and witty things to get his attention.

***

Jisung winced at the time. If only he could find a way to keep Jaemin in his presence longer, he would. With only a few tutoring sessions left, he was becoming more sad as he'd see him even less. He could join the spirit squad, newspaper or even student council and he would easily be around more but his quiet soul couldn't muster the courage to do so.

As Jisung began to gather his things he felt dizzy and reached out to grab onto the back of the chair.

Jaemin was alarmed at the sound and turned around quickly, "You okay?"

"I felt light headed suddenly."

Jaemin placed his books back on the table. "Want me to walk you to the nurses' office?"

"Gwenchanayo. I'll be okay." Jisung insisted.

Jaemin slowly sat him back into his seat and the younger obliged. "Just wait here a little longer until you feel better." Jaemin proceeded to tidy the room like he did after every session, he would glance over at Jisung every now and then to ask if he was feeling better.

"Are you sick?"

Jisung shook his head no. After pondering a bit he realized why he was feeling lightheaded, "maybe it's because I didn't eat today..."

"I can buy you something from the cafe downstairs?" it was a statement but interrogative.

but Jisung shook his head no. He didn't want to be a burden on him. But he promised he would eat when he arrived home so that he could stop the boy's worried look.

❡Jisung noticed that Jeno was late today. Normally he'd arrive as soon as the session ended. His varsity jacket would disappear into the west corridor and Jisung would slip out to the front entrance towards his bus stop. He decided to ask carefully...."Is Jeno not coming today?"

Jaemin answered as if he expected the question, "He's working at his dad's vet today, so he will be a little late."

"ahh okay." he was kind of satisfied by the answer because it meant he didn't have to rush out and avoid him. His hands began to fidget underneath his desk while thinking of the burning question he wanted to ask next. "Are you two...close?" If he could slap himself he would after asking such an obvious question.

Jaemin looked at the floor solemnly as he answered, "Yeah..." then he sat the broom he was using aside and began walking toward the old shelf in the corner.  "We're close."

And he said nothing more, so Jisung felt stuck. He watched jaemin's nonverbal signs instead closely. Even though his back was slightly turned, he could see that he began to bite his bottom lip. Jisung knew many of his habits, but lip biting was a new one. His only reference was a time during study when he wanted to avoid giving an answer too easily, so Jisung was forced to figure it out on his own.
So, he speculated the lip biting was an attempt to conceal an answer.
Or does he want me to figure it out on my own? He wondered.

By now he could feel himself forming a scab where he fiddled with his hands aggressively. A strange feeling overcame him as he felt jaemin was out of his reach.

"I'm sorry for being so personal," he exclaimed with a wistful frown.

Jaemin shrugged with his usual smile. "It's nothing." 'It's nothing' was his signature quote. Even if something bothered him, he didn't ponder on it long.

The large bookshelf Jaemin leaned on was similar to a backdrop. Jisung couldn't help but stare, wondering what was wandering through his mind. If they had more time in that space, the pressure of the moment would burst, and Jaemin would have to reveal what he was thinking as he wouldn't be able to take Jisung's longing eyes any longer. But once he received a text message from Jeno, the close revelation had dissipated.

The two were riding home today and Jisung didn't want the awkwardness of being asked if he needed a ride so he rushed to fasten his bag and leave but was stopped by Jaemin who grabbed his arm...he only held the junior's arm to stop him from running away.

He didn't say anything while his hand stayed clamped; only until after he let go. "Make sure you eat, okay."
Jisung shook his head firmly.

After a few moments of forcing the boy to stand still, he reached into his back pocket to gift him something unknown. "By the way, I thought you might need it."

Ji opened the small mesh bag to find a sleek fountain pen styled in titanium. His hands felt glamorized from simply holding it. "W-Whats this for?"

Jaemin pointed his head towards Jisung's bag. He stopped himself from mentioning the book he sees him scribbling in all the time. "You never have working pens..."

The boy felt flustered that he noticed. Jaemin would always lend him a new pen during tutoring just for him to lose it. So he decided to keep this one inside of his poetry book. Secretly, it was what Jaemin expected him to do. Although he didn't know the content's of Jisung's book, he wanted to feel part of something he cherished...

✐

perhaps i'm foolish for choosing you

but the sad look in your eyes...

i yearn to brighten them

and be the light in your life