Love, Loathing, and Limelight

Chapter One

When I was six years old, a boy told me I was pretty. I told him that another girl was prettier and then continued with my daily practice of skipping recess to dance. I didn't say it because I thought it was true, but because I knew it would get him away from me so I could focus on what was important. I wasn't very interested in guys at the time; I was only six, after all. I had friends who just lost their minds for the newest poster child with a dumb haircut and charming smile, but I never saw the value in a crush, even as a child. Later on, my Aunt Megan (my guardian, best friend, and idol) told me the story of how she achieved her goal of a body count of twenty by the time she got out of high school. Except I was six, so she didn't say body count; she said "boyfriend count."

My aunt raised me, and I've always known that she was not exactly qualified to raise a kid, but I've always forgiven her for being clueless because she was not exactly ready for me when I was thrown into her custody. Needless to say, she's always been somewhat of a wreck. By living under her roof, I have learned from her irresponsibilities and have set several standards regarding how I live my life. I would never drink, I would never go clubbing, and I would never date, just to name a few. Do I think all these things are okay in moderation? Absolutely. But all I know is when Megan goes out clubbing, she's too hungover to function the next day. When Megan goes through a break-up, she cries and eats her feelings. I love my aunt more than anything, but she hasn't shown me any good reasons for dating.

I decided that dating wasn't for me because my life was more important. Being able to dance without distraction is more important because dancing is everything to me. Getting to my level took years of dedication, and I've never been interested in wasting it all by entertaining the idea of a boyfriend. And after all these years, I can say that it's never led me astray. I can honestly say that I just really love my life. I love dancing, and I love being at a school where dancing gets prioritized. I love my friends, the city I live in, and I just love all of it. I love where I'm at, and I wouldn't change a thing. I'm not interested in changing anything.

I've always asked myself what's important in the moment, and it's always been the same. Years ago, when I took my first dance class, it was dancing. I knew it from the moment I put on the shoes. When I got a scholarship to my dream school, it was still dancing. I've made many sacrifices, always considering that it will make me a better dancer. The most important thing in my life has always been and always will be dancing. I don't have time to worry about this social hierarchy established in literally every high school. However, some do. There's always one, and at my school, I have not only an "arch-rival" but also a teacher that worships her.

"Sara Connor!" A nasal voice screams to stop rehearsal. "Lower your grand battement," she says. I take a deep breath and step forward to deal with my assistant ballet coach.

"Could you show me, Madame Antonov?" I asked. I knew she was just trying to get in my head because I have it on good word that my grand battements are fine. But I had to engage with her to get this over with.

"Hallie," she said. Hallie Kim, my "arch-rival," stepped out from the end of the first row. From day one, it had always been me against Hallie in our ballet program at LTA, Lana Trade Academy. Hallie was excellent; I won't deny it. But there had always been a question of who was the best. It's always been Sara vs. Hallie for this solo or Sara vs. Hallie for this role. And honestly, I do want to be the best. I mean, who doesn't? But to me, being the best isn't about being better than everybody. Being the best is about loving what you do.

When younger students aren't afraid to ask you for help, that's how you know you're the best. When your teacher tells you that there's nothing more they can teach you, yet you still learn something new every time you leave class, that's how you know you're the best. Being the best has never been a priority for me. It's only been a side effect of my passion. I love to dance, and from my experience, if you love something so much that you'd do it in the background or a spotlight, you will be put in a spotlight. Hallie just cares about the spotlight.