Love, Loathing, and Limelight

Chapter Twenty-Two

I started seeing how much my life changed when I saw that waking up was no longer my favorite part of the day. It was no longer a sign of promise. It was a reminder that I'm not happy. I knew I had been too hard on myself when even the things I loved more than anything were starting to leave me unsatisfied. With everything I had lost, there was one thing- one thing- that I was barely holding onto. I clung to it so tightly because I knew the moment I let go would be the moment I lost everything that set my soul on fire. I could not lose my dance, and as long as I had it, I'd be fine. I'd get through.

In early October, the entire senior ballet class was buzzing with excitement for something we had waited for forever. When we were freshmen, a man about twenty-five years old came in to speak to the entire ballet program. He walked in with spiked hair and a leather jacket. The first thing he said was:

"Seniors, you all remember me. I trust you all know why I'm here." You could feel all the excitement from the seniors. From the juniors and sophomores, you could feel the jealousy. From the freshmen, you could feel the confusion.

"Mr. Lee told me you've all been working very hard and that I have a great group to work with this year. But you guys know what's going on. Freshmen, my name is Mark Anderson, and it's you I want to talk to." We all perked up, me perking up higher than anybody else as usual. I always knew how to spot someone with an excellent eye for talent. "So everybody else can go into the other room with Mr. Lee," he said as the rest of the program left the room. He stood up and turned to the wipe-board and wrote two words.

Booty Camp

"Booty camp," he said. "Every year, I take the senior ballet class here at LTA and put them through the most intense ballet training they've ever experienced in their lives." I sat up straighter, but Ari groaned, and Chris sunk further into his horrendous posture. "And you will be taught by both your captain and myself." I knew I would be captain, so I knew it would be on me to teach my class, and I knew I'd be prepared for it.

"It won't be just dancing," he said. "You will go through an intense gym schedule and training in the ways of proper dieting. I understand some of you want to dance professionally? If you do, this booty camp will be the template for your life."

Every year since then, he'd come in and give the same speech to the freshmen and then take the seniors to their free week off of school for booty camp while the rest of us waited in raw jealousy. Well, I waited in raw jealousy. Others, like Ari, were grateful that they still had a little while before they had booty camp. Others, like Chris, were excited but terrified.

Mark Anderson came in on a Friday. Booty camp would be the following week. I was excited to push my limits, but I knew that this booty camp would get me back on track. I admitted I was in love, sure, but things weren't the same, and I was lying about being ok. I decided that although I loved him, I'd have to learn to live without him as I had planned. Even though I knew deep down that the only thing that would make me truly happy was being with Noah, the chances of that happening were non-existent, so I had to find something else to fill the void. After what I did, he would never forgive me.

I was excited to work with Mark Anderson until Mr. Lee pulled me aside and told me some of the most devastating news I'd ever heard. My performance had gotten so bad that Hallie would be working with Mark Anderson, not me. And also Hallie would be training me separately before and after.

I laughed when he told me this, I thought he was joking. The thought of Hallie living out something I'd been looking forward to since freshman year was horrifying. I could see it in my head. Everybody would be looking at me to do something about her, or they'd be looking at me like they didn't know why I'm with them taking instructions.

"Mr. Lee," I said. "I get it. I've done a lot in this program, more than anybody else. But I work hard for it. You wouldn't have the best performer be taught by someone below them-"

"I would if they needed it!" he suddenly said. Needed it? What did Hallie have that I needed? "Sara, I don't know how to tell you this, but your performance is, well, it's just not the same." I stood speechless. "You think I wanna let Hallie teach the entire senior class? Or teach you privately? Of course not. But guess what else, when the spring performance comes along, I want to see you up there on the stage because you deserve it. And if she can help you get there, I'm doing it." Was this supposed to be a blessing in disguise? It sure didn't feel like it. Hallie was in no way qualified to teach me one-on-one. I'd honestly rather be taught by Madame.

I broke the news to Chris and Ari when we went out for dinner that night. Ari was absolutely furious, mostly because she hates Hallie more than I do. Chris didn't think it was fair to me; that's why he was upset. The next day there was a picture on the news of us at dinner. You could see Ari with her hands up, visibly angry.

The caption was:

Sara Connor's Friends Furious About Her Summer Fling With Noah Lancaster-"Why is it always you, Sara?"

Hello, lovelies! Hope you are doing well. What do you think is going to happen at booty camp? LMK! Or don't. It's your choice. Live your life. Have a good day!