Love, Loathing, and Limelight

Chapter Fifteen

Even though we were safe in the building, we didn't stop running until we were even safer in my apartment. We made it into my apartment, both soaking and laughing. This was ironic because we had been flushed with the adrenaline of being pursued ten minutes earlier, and now we were laughing like we thrived off of it. Noah didn't seem worried that his career was just at risk. He couldn't stop cackling.

"Oh my god, Noah," I said, calming down. "How are you not freaking out right now? If they get a clear photo of you, you're screwed-"

"Hey," he said, cutting me off. He was still laughing. "Don't even think about it. It's the least important thing on my mind right now." He changed into some dry clothes, and I gave him a towel for his hair before I changed into my athletic shorts and T-shirt that I would sleep in.

As I decluttered my kitchen counter, he sat on my couch and turned on the TV.

"Can we watch The Wave?" he asked me. I laughed.

"Absolutely not," I said jokingly. He made a face at me. "Look, you're great. But I still think the show's dumb." He shrugged and continued to look for something to watch.

"What about a seventies sitcom?" He said.

"Of course, I love seventies sitcoms," I said. I sat next to him just after the intro song ended and the show had officially begun. I didn't immediately watch the show. I took a moment to think about how thankful I was for the moment I was in. I was so comfortable and happier than I had ever been. I looked over at who I now considered my best friend. His hair was still wet. His face looked freshly washed, and his skin looked smoother than I had ever noticed. His usual bright green eyes were darker than normal. I didn't know why I was staring at him, and truthfully I'd forgotten that I was. That is until he turned his head and looked at me as if he was going to say something. But he didn't say anything when he saw that I was looking at him, and a voice in my head told me I should kiss him.

Should I do it? What's the harm? It's just a kiss, and it's something I wanted to do. I couldn't tell you why. I just wanted to. I do what I want. I don't second guess myself. If I see an opportunity to do something I want to do, I take it, no questions. I'd never imagined that I'd ever have my first kiss because I've never looked at someone and felt the need. But I looked at him, and something told me to do it. So what's the harm in kissing him? I could ask questions all day, but no answer will stop me from doing what I want to do in the moment. What will it accomplish? What happens after? How does it affect our friendship? Is it just playful, or will it mean something? Why do I want to kiss him when I've never wanted anything like that in my life? Why do I want to kiss him when I've told myself for years that my goals come first? Why do I want to kiss him when I know what's at risk? Why do I want to kiss him if we're just friends? Why am I kissing him now? Why am I foolishly thrown into his arms? Why do I like it? Why isn't he stopping me? I realized I had made a mistake.

I slowly pulled myself away and moved my entire body to sit on the arm of the couch, far away from him, to break the tension. He was concerned.

"Are you ok?" he asked. I had my head buried in my hands, but not ashamedly. I was ready to forgive and forget if he was. It would be foolish to jeopardize a perfectly good friendship like that. I knew he'd understand.

"Yeah," I said. "God, I'm sorry, Noah," I said, kind of laughing.

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" he replied in the same tone. His eyebrows were lifted, and he looked happy.

"That was-," I said, collecting myself. "That was stupid. I shouldn't have done that." I watched as his face dropped slowly but didn't think anything of it. "I mean, you're my best friend, and it's stupid to do something that would put that in a weird spot. I know you kissed me back because that's just human instinct, and I can't even tell you why I kissed you in the first place. But it's happened, and it's over, and we don't have to talk about it anymore, and we can go back to normal." I stopped my rant to look up and see that we were clearly not eye to eye on what had happened. His face had dropped, and he looked at me in slight disbelief.