Love, Loathing, and Limelight

Chapter Nineteen

"So, do you know what you're wearing to homecoming?" Ari asked us all as we walked back into the school building after lunch. "I'm wearing the dress I wore to my sister's quince."

"I'm just gonna wear the same thing I wore last year," Chris said.

"I'm not going," I said. They were appalled. "Please don't try to change my mind. I'd rather stay home and watch reality TV."

"Sara, it's Senior year homecoming," Ari said.

"Please don't try to change my mind," I said again. Chris picked up on my tone of voice.

"It's okay, Sara," he said. "If you don't want to go, you don't have to." Breaking the tension, Chris got out his phone to show us something.

"Did you see this? It just came out this morning," he said. He played a video on his phone that showed the host of some news channel.

"In recent news, The Wave actor Noah Lancaster has been seen attending a ballet performance in Lana, Tennessee. He was seen with blue flowers, but they appeared to be gone when he left. Although he claimed to be sick while in Lana for the tour, many people have other suspicions. What was he doing at a ballet performance? Some recent accusations from news sources all over America suspect that a mysterious girl was involved in his so-called "escapades." Others believe there were multiple girls involved. One thing's for sure; nobody believes he was sick. More on this story as it develops."

"This is gonna be over tomorrow," I said sternly.

"What?" said Ari.

"There's gonna be nothing on it because it's not true," I said. "People will get over it when they see there's nothing there. It's going to end tomorrow." Did I know this for sure? No, but I had every hope that it would be over. It had to be over. If I ever had a chance of going back to the way things were before summer, this story had to be terminated. I needed my everyday life back. The story had to end.

I watched the east coast news the next day, but there was nothing on the story. At school, I couldn't look Cameron in the eye. Nobody got any notifications from any news sources. Maybe I was right? Perhaps the story had been dropped. Throughout the day, school was buzzing about homecoming. I was happy to be skipping. I didn't want to go because it would be embarrassing to Cameron. I also wanted to stay home and make sure that the sudden drop in the story wasn't temporary. My best friends were preparing for one of the most memorable nights of high school, Cameron was preparing for the most critical game of high school, and I was preparing for a night of staying up late. I planned to stay up until midnight to ensure that this day of silence was legitimate because it was precious.

I watched the news for hours. I was tense at first. But the more the night went on, the more I relaxed. The later I stayed up, the more assured I felt. News about everything from overseas affairs to a dog that could do something cool was broadcast. But there was nothing about a young actor and an alleged "mysterious lover." Not that that was true. I reminded myself that I didn't love him, as I had frequently been doing. Around midnight I was completely relaxed. I enjoyed all the homecoming posts on Instagram, not at all regretting that I stayed home. I was about to call it when the reporter announced the last story of the night. I thought I'd stick around for one more story.

"And most recently," she said. "We all were shocked just this Wednesday when images captured last Friday night showed The Wave actor Noah Lancaster leaving a ballet performance of a local high school in Lana, Tennessee." When I heard what she said, I knew what was coming. The emotions flooded in me before my face could catch up to them. It had hit me, but it hadn't sunk in yet. "Of course, we all know this. So what's new that we don't know? Well, what was he doing attending a ballet performance? This dates back to May when the cast was in town on the cast tour." My heart dropped. Slowly, it began to sink in. The initial shock hit my skin and spread like a wave. I started pinching my arm again.

"Lancaster told all of us he was sick, but photos leaked of Lancaster throughout the week with a girl. Locals have identified this girl as Sara Connor, a Lana Trade Academy dance major. The two were seen at various locations throughout the week and supposedly continued to stay in contact after they left. They were seen at the annual music festival held in the city, at which the two fled from paparazzi when Lancaster was recognized." Pictures flooded the screen. I saw Noah and me on the bike. I saw Noah and me at the park. And somehow, there was a blurry picture of Noah and me kissing on my couch. It could only have been captured by a drone, which meant someone was following us.

As soon as the TV anchor had started talking, I knew it was all going to be exposed. I knew my secret was over, but it took so long to register. So when it finally did register, it did so all at once and sparked a giant mental stability collapse. Then, when I thought it couldn't worsen, the lies came out.

"Furthermore," she said. "Many people claimed to have seen these two attending nightclubs. Connor, seventeen, and Lancaster, eighteen, were allegedly all over each other the entire week. Reports say they were seen in various locations, and it's believed they were seriously romantically involved. So what was Lancaster doing at the performance? He was there to do nothing less than see his summer lover. But more importantly, what else was he doing during his time in Lana, and how is this shocking blow affecting his reputation?" I turned the TV off.

It would be useless to attempt to describe the kind of turmoil I was going through in this exact moment. It was as if I had been holding on by a thread, and it had finally snapped. I didn't bother fighting the feeling because as terrible as it was, I felt like I deserved it. I felt like all the anger, shame, and guilt were just side effects of what I had done to myself. Of course this was happening to me. If it didn't, I would have gotten off easy. In moments like these, it's easy to ask why these terrible things are happening to you. However, all I could think about was how the knot in my stomach should be tighter, the pounding in my head should be harder, and the tears I was crying should have been heavier. My phone blew up with messages from people I didn't know and a few people I did. There were many cruel nicknames, the most frequently used one being "publicity whore," but it was the one that couldn't be farther from the truth.

It suddenly hit me what the woman said. "His reputation." What about my reputation? He's probably being congratulated on his "affairs" with a random girl from Tennessee. He's going to turn into every other actor involved in a scandal. He's going to get more popular. He's going to get a new reputation. He's going to be more prosperous. But for me? My whole life is ruined. The entire world thinks I have a taste for famous guys. My whole "I don't date" narrative is destroyed. Cameron will believe that I turned him down because he's just not good enough for me. Tears flooded down my face as I ignored calls from unknown numbers, my friends, and my aunt, but not Noah.

Hello, Lovelies! Hope you are doing well. Did you enjoy this chapter? What do you think is going to happen next? Let me know in the comments and don't forget to vote. Or don't. Live your life. Have a good day :)