camp camp (trans max)

Worried

Heyo I've been gone for like nearly a whole year i got super busy with school trips last year and i completely forgot about my little story so if you're still here to read this and not a skeleton, hi. i say this every time but i promise ill try make more chapters, anyways lets get on with it.

I got up so confused i was walking around camp and everyone was looking at me Nerf came up to me handing me a dress chanting "Maxine" over and over, everyone was calling me my deadname, i started to cry and ran to find Gwen and David but when i got to the door they opened it and shouted at me to leave, whats happening no one likes me anymore i thought i was sobbing now but then i shot awake.

"oh my god it was a dream," I said to myself, I felt my face and I was still crying so I decided to go the David and Gwen, I still hadn't forgiven them for reading my letter but I had it in my pocket for the last 2 days and I'm still not strong enough to read it, I still like my journal they got me, I've been drawing in it and using it to play hangman with Nicki. she usually wins though.

I was thinking about what I would say when I got to the counsellors' doors and I heard them talking about me.

"What if he never talks to us again we can't help him, he'll have to go back to them" Gwen spoke but I could hear the sadness in her voice like she had been crying 

"Don't worry Gwen he's strong, even if he never talks to us he will be okay" David also sounded sad which I've never heard him sad before 

"what happens at the end of the summer? we would be no better than his parents if we knowingly sent him back to that environment" Gwen started to cry and so did I, staying as quiet as possible they do care about me. I knocked on their door I heard scrambling as one of them approached the door, "Max!?" David exclaimed he scanned me for a second and took me inside "What's wrong?" he asked, he got down to my level "I want you to read me the letter" I took the crumbled-up piece of paper out of my pocket and handed it to him 

"I haven't read it yet and I know there's probably stuff in there you don't want to say but I don't care, read it all" David stepped back looking at Gwen who asked me if I was sure, and I nodded. David's voice started to quiver as he read it.

Maxine, you'll always be a girl no matter what stop these games. think about your mother. I can't believe you'd hurt us this way. that little counsellor of yours David cant save you and no one will because you are a worthless faggot, you aren't tough and that camp does not make you better than us I want you to wright an apology in this book to me and your mother cover to cover. You are a disgrace and if you are still thinking you're a queer when you get home you are in for a world of hurt young lady so choose wisely Dad

Gwen and David were holding back tears by the end of the letter. I didn't feel anything, I didn't even know how to react to that, Gwen came up to hug me but I didn't hug back. I was numb, "Max.." David went to hug me and I flinched all these memories started hitting me like a bus. I tried to think back to a single happy memory I had growing up but I couldn't even imagine a smile on anyone's face and that's what I had to go home to. I began to break down "he's right.." I whispered with my head in my hands I was shaking and I don't think David knew what to do. I saw him get taken aback by me flinching away from him, gwen sat next to me and told David to do the same Gwen held me until I stopped crying she was talking to me in a soft tone the whole time trying to calm me down but David stayed silent.

"Max I want you to know something" David paused and took a deep breath "When I was about 7 I had to go into foster care because my biological parents were awful, I don't remember much but I do remember feeling like I was doing something to deserve it." Gwen was dead silent and I don't think she knew about this either "Max" he held my shoulders so I was looking at him "you don't deserve any of this and I don't want you to think for a second that you do okay" I was still shaking. 

"We have 4th of July celebrations in the camp in 2 weeks all the parents are invited.. we can't uninvite your parents, but I promise you, you won't be alone with them for one second" David spoke quietly and he began to tear up but he stopped himself 

"let's watch a movie!" he shot up and put on a toy story. I couldn't stop thinking bout what David said, that he was just like me. I wondered how he was so happy all the time as I was thinking I fell asleep and woke up in David's bed and looked to see him on the sofa. I checked the calendar "June 30th" it read 4 more days, fuck I walked back to my tent and saw Nicki who looked like she was looking for someone "MAXXXX" she shouted and ran to me asking where I was "just went for a walk" I replied still groggy.

Nicki headed for the lake so I followed "Neil told me that he knows about the whole trans thing" she murmured "So?" I questioned "I assumed he didn't know I already knew so I just wanted to let you know "She looked a bit disappointed and she saw me start to get upset. She reached for the collar of my shirt and pulled it to the side "You wore it to bed?" she tilted her head like a dog when asking, I didn't respond "Come on let's go and take it off" I walked with her back to my tent Neil was in there and Nicki told him to go cuz we had to talk, Neil being Neil got super awkward and scuttled out of the room.

I turned around and took off my binder, I could feel Nicki staring at me about to say something "So it was your parents that gave you the scars?" she asked carefully "Just my dad" I answered bluntly. it went quiet I could tell Nicki was dying to ask a question, I got my clothes back on and turned to her "Out with it" She looked surprised "Come on Nicki I know you what do you want to say?" I asked, nicki started to stammer but eventually spit out "How?" as surprising as it was I didn't mind the question. I took my top off which left me in my sports bra, I feel comfortable around Nicki she has never acted weird around me because I'm trans she treats me like a boy.

"Which one?" I turned around forgetting about my big scar that goes horizontally across my stomach, her eyes went big and she said "That one" pointing at the big one on my stomach 

"well that one was just from playing outside I got snagged by barbed wire" She laughed and asked what happened after?" " I didn't even notice it until I got back to my friend's house and his mom saw the blood all over me" We laughed together for a while telling more stories about ourselves getting hurt as kids "What is your friend's name?" she asked "oh I'm not friends with him anymore" i laughed it off "why?"

"Because I'm trans" I laughed but she didn't laugh with me, she stood up and hugged me gently trying not to hurt my ribs, I normally wouldn't let anyone hug me, especially without a binder on but Nicki made me feel so safe. we went back to talk for a while and went to the hall for breakfast, somehow I felt way better.

"Max?" I hear David call from across the hall, I walk over and he tells me my dad is on the phone and he's asking for me.

sorry if the writing is a bit different than usually just have to get back into the swing of things, that's for reading, any suggestions for new chapters lemme know x