Enemies with Benefits

Chapter Twenty-Five

"He WHAT?! And she—God, of course she fucking did. She's always gone for what you had, no matter who or what it was. That stupid, conniving little, piece-of-shit fucking cu—"

"Jesus, Hailey!"

I lunged for my best friend, clamping a hand over her mouth as she screeched the words my neighbors could surely hear. Not that it worked all that well, considering her eyebrows furrowed and she just spoke harder into the palm of my hand, her sharp words mumbled and hot on my skin.

She huffed and rolled her eyes.

"You good?" I bit back a laugh, removing my hand only when I felt her slight nod. "Good. I have to talk to her. To Caleb too. God, I don't even know what to say or..."

My nose wrinkled and I let my words taper off with an uncomfortable shudder. My chest grew heavy, the back of my throat widening like bile was ready to rise. I forced my threatening nerves to shut the hell up. Rather, I tried. But as my palms slickened and the knowledge I was to head to Caleb's soon made itself known in the forefront of my brain, I felt my mind begin to scream at all the half-truths and lies and secrets slamming around within it.

"Can I ask you something?" Hailey spoke softly, reading my impending mental breakdown.

I couldn't help it. I laughed quietly at the thought of Caleb's usual answer to that exact question.

The thought of Caleb.

I cleared my throat, blinking myself back to the moment. "What is it?"

"Do you," Hailey leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her knees and pulling them tighter to her chest. "Do you believe her? Leah? Do you believe what she said happened?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore, Hails. But," I quieted a moment, my brows furrowing as my face contorted in memory of Caleb's honesty from that night in his living room. And I knew it had been exactly that—honesty. So I lifted my eyes back to meet my friend's.

"No. I don't...I don't think I do, no. I'm not sure I ever did, to be honest, which sucks to admit after so many years. Knowing someone could lie about something like that? I just...Knowing," I shut my eyes and sighed, trying and failing to ignore the clench in my battered heart, "knowing that it all seems to have been a lie. And if it was, then not knowing the truth now after thinking that had been it for so long? I...I don't know what's true and what's not anymore, but I do know that I don't trust Leah. I don't know when I stopped—maybe I never did—but I know I don't now."

Hailey nodded but didn't push the matter, for which I was both grateful and a bit surprised. I pulled my knees to settle beneath my nerve-riddled body, tossing my arm over the back of the couch and leaning my head on the heel of my palm. I played with the hairs on the nape of my neck, fidgeting in hopes it might somehow make time move faster. Or maybe slower. I was simultaneously anxious and eager to go to Caleb's in a few hours, I just had to make sure my backbone stayed as strong as my stubbornness could.

_

I dug into the underside of my nail, scraping at dirt that wasn't there to dig away. Whether it stemmed from the mere need to feel clean for the conversation I knew we needed to have, or maybe it was only my subconscious that felt dirty, but I couldn't seem to sit still without some form of consistent, mindless movement.

"Rach?"

Caleb's voice was a warm velvet stroking over the cold flutters throughout my body. I frowned and forced my eyes to refocus, dropping my hands back to my sides where they could lay on the couch cushions beside my hips.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

The same worry that had lined his face in his office earlier in the afternoon skittered back over his features. He wiped his hands on a towel and tossed it over his shoulder before walking towards me, moving my wine glass aside and sitting on the coffee table where it had been.