Enemies with Benefits

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I stood at the door, my hand raised but frozen. If I was going to knock, I'd pound on the door and completely omit any greeting of pleasantries. But if I didn't, if I stood there any longer, my nervous system might spontaneously combust.

Luckily for both my knuckles and nervous system, the door swung open with a surprised Caleb on the other side.

"Rachel, hey. I was actually just about to head over to your place." His face fell with what looked to be embarrassment. "About yesterday. I—" his brows quirked back up. "Did you trip and fall on your face again?"

"Huh?" He gestured to the side of his face, and when I realized that mine as he was mirroring was likely red and blotchy, I dropped my eyes to my feet. "No, I didn't."

His demeanor changed when tears flooded my eyes. "Rachel, did someone hurt you?" I heard the grip his hand still held on the door grasp tighter. "Who did that to you?"

The back of my throat opened uncomfortably. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to throw myself backwards just to avoid this conversation altogether. I wanted to be selfish, and I wanted to run.

But I lifted my quickly-blurring gaze again, and I saw the moment he noticed me break fully.

"Leah," I whispered.

Caleb flinched at the name, and suddenly, the force I'd been holding myself back with to keep from running seemed so stupid. I was hurting myself.

I was hurting him.

I didn't want to hurt him.

"You're still—" he cocked his head like a predator, though I didn't miss his shoulders as they shrunk in to make him appear smaller. Caleb cleared his throat. "You're still friends with her?"

"No. I mean, I was. I'm not...It's complicated."

"Complicated," he repeated with a nod, his tone mocking and confused. And just as I was afraid of—hurt.

"Caleb, what happened nine years ago?"

"What happened—" He made a noise, an achy one. Somewhat of a scoff and growl and tearless sob. I felt my heartstrings begin to snap.

"Why don't you go ask your fucking friend, Rachel?" I didn't move. "Go on! Go ask her!"

He shifted to slam the door, but I stomped a foot forward, stopping it before it could lock into its latch and leave me alone on the other side. He glared down at my leg, then up at my face, but he slid back a few steps, making sure to face me the whole way.

Like he was being careful to not turn his back to me. I didn't want to think about why that was suddenly his reaction. Then again, I wasn't sure I was ready to know.

"Caleb, please, let me explain."

"Of all the people you could've chosen, she was the one you couldn't let go of? She was the one you kept around? For what, Rachel? What fucking purpose can she possibly serve in your life other than toxicity?! The same bullshit she's always done!"

I flinched and closed the front door behind me, leaning my back against it for a moment before shutting my tear-filled eyes and letting a few fall. When I reopened them and took a step forward, Caleb took another back, his knees knocking into the arm of the couch.

"That night, she came to me and she said—" my throat constricted, "—said you r—" I couldn't say it. I couldn't finish it.

"Rachel..." Caleb's eyes were wide, his chest heaving as he heard the words I couldn't force myself to say as though I'd screamed them at the top of my lungs.