Enemies with Benefits

Chapter Thirty

- Present Day - Rachel -

I was pacing. I was furious and confused and disgusted, and I was pacing. Tears of hatred were flowing down my now-sore face, my cheeks, I knew, were red and face entirely disheveled.

Thankfully among our story-rehashing, we'd moved from the bathroom to Caleb's bedroom, so I was no longer a heap of a mess on the cold tile—rather, now a heap of a mess walking his floor and trying to will my knees to not give way.

It was all too obvious how far away from me he stood, though I couldn't understand whether it was because he was afraid of my reaction or because he simply needed the space to himself after reliving it all. By the way his fingers were in a constant state of motion unsettled along his forearms and his lower lip and shoulders trembled, my guess was on the latter.

He didn't look as though he knew what to say. To be entirely honest, I was with him and didn't either. But there were still too many questions—ones I knew we both had. Or maybe it was just me and I was being selfish yet again.

I had too many to even think up. So I started with the one I assumed might be the easiest.

"You never called me back," I whispered, still hurt. "You never texted." Okay, not a question, but the words still had the tears continuously spilling over my lids falling harder in their heartbroken rivets.

"You believed her. What was I supposed to say?"

I frowned at that. "I didn't believe her. I mean, I did, but only for a second, Caleb. She came to my room the next morning. She had a giant bruise on her back; she had bruises on her hips. Finger-shaped bruises. I tried to call you. I texted you. But then you blocked me, and I couldn't..." I sighed, stopping my pace in my tracks and facing him in an attempt to gain the eye contact he wasn't offering.

"You were the one who left that night, Caleb. I only had her side of the story because you didn't give me a chance to listen to yours. And I should've seen how bad a lie hers was, but—God she touched the rim of the bottle after you drank from it. And then she licked her finger like it was somehow like...I don't know. I...I didn't think about that too much until now, to be honest. But it wasn't really a night I'd wanted to—And then you...you were dodging all of my calls, and Seth always said you—" I groaned in a new fit of confusion, my brain such a jumbled mess that I wasn't even sure it would work to finish the conversation we'd finally thrown ourselves into. I took a deep breath. "That last text I got from you, I—"

He cut me off, finally looking up at me. Something in his gaze had my breath halting. I wanted to hear it all, whether he screamed or whispered, I wanted to hear everything he had to say—a far cry from my usual comfort of interrupting and assuming the worst to spin a sort of protective barrier around myself before getting hurt.

"Would you have believed me? After hearing Leah on the phone and then listening to her cry to you. Would you have heard me out?"

Would I have? It was easy for me now to say yes. Now that I'd learned more and known a hell of a lot better. But in the moment, would I have?

I shrugged. "I don't know, okay? Maybe, maybe not. But you didn't give me a chance to hear both sides and figure that out for myself. You didn't give me the opportunity to decide for myself. I—"

"Wait," Caleb looked confused as all hell, "what last text? What phone calls? And when did you talk to Seth?"

"I tried to talk to you. I tried to hear your side. But you'd always pick up the phone and end the call right away. And then, one day...the texts turned green. And the phone calls wouldn't go through anymore. I don't...I don't remember exactly what it said," lie, "but—"