⫷Between the war and my enemy⫸ (T-34)

Chapter 10: Tough confession

- ....... -he could only remain silent as his cheeks filled with fine tears- Y-yes....

- Jäger I'm serious, you're not a fucking homosexual, are you? -he said in a slightly serious and cold tone looking at him with disgust.-

- ...... -the only thing he could do was to hug himself while he tried uselessly to stop crying- D-don't... D-don't look at me with that f-face... Not you... -the German mentally repeated to himself as he tried to hide between his own arms and legs to hide his crying.-

The noise of a gun being reloaded was present in that place, the German knew what awaited him and he did not care anymore since he always knew that it was impossible, and with the cold and disgusted look that his beloved had given him minutes before he made it clear that he did not deserve to continue living; in spite of everything he was not going to let them kill him in such a vulnerable way, therefore he stood with his eyes down and positioned himself in front of the Russian, in front of the gun that would destroy his heart.

- Do it... it's the right thing to kill people like me.... -he looked up a little bit looking at the communist exposing his smile between tears- But I don't regret having stupidly fallen in love with my enemy...

Nikolay narrates:

What is this feeling of guilt, why are you showing me this side of you, aren't you afraid of your death, why do I feel so sad for doing this, Klaus, won't you defend yourself? All these questions were going through my head while I kept pointing at the Nazi's chest, feeling my hand trembling like a running engine.

- Don't look at me like that... -I tried to look at him seriously but something prevented me- I forbid you to look at me with that smiling and broken face!

- Why should I? If it's going to be the last time I see you.... At least I want to be able to smile at the person I love the most... It's only fair, right?

- Fair?! You're really saying this is fair?! You really think smiling falsely at your death is fair?! Seriously Klaus react! This is not a love novel, I'm not going to chicken out and drop the gun because deep down I love you, those things are not going to happen -I put my hand firmly and use a cold tone- I want you to erase that stupid hope from your eyes that you think something like that is going to happen because it's not!

- I know...b-believe me I-I know...and I'm s-so sorry... I-I never had to come find you or talk to you, n-none of this would have happened otherwise.... -Why does his voice starts to crack, why the guilt doesn't go away, why it hurts me so much to tell him all this- Nikolay Ivuskin, sorry for everything I have done and said to you, I admit my destiny for falling in love with the wrong person who already has a partner and surely a child on the way.... I just want to ask you a favor... After you kill me, take the child somewhere safe or take care of him yourself, could you do it for me, please?

- I'll see who can take care of him

- Thank you really Niko... I hope you'll forget meine liebe...

Narrated omniscient:

A loud sound echoed throughout the place, the gun had been fired. A body fell and someone bursting into tears accompanied this soundtrack.

- I can't... I can't do it... I d-don't want to do it... -and there was the Russian tanker crying on the floor- Klaus, what did you do to me?

- The same thing you did to me... -he was still a little shocked to feel the bullet so close but seeing Nikolay like this hurt him- Can I... Can I hug you?

- .... -He was silent as an answer but when he felt arms smaller than his own around him he couldn't refuse to accept as he cried his eyes out begging for forgiveness.-

- It's ok, it doesn't matter, I'm here with you -he said in a relaxed way looking for a way to calm him down with cuddles on his back and sweet words- You did what you thought was right and that's ok, don't cry anymore, there's no reason to do it, ok?

- Mhm -he nodded while wiping his tears with his jacket- Thank you... and sorry again for putting you through such a thing, really...

He was left with the words in his mouth and his expression changed to one of surprise, that German was kissing him and even if he didn't want to admit it, he was doing it a little better than Anya. After a few seconds the German broke away from the kiss staring at the Russian with his cheeks a little pink.

- I told you it doesn't matter anymore, besides it's not the first time you shoot me or point a gun at me, täuschen -he said with an amused tone while he pulled down that hat the Russian was wearing- But I'm glad to know that in all those times you didn't want to do anything bad to me -he smiled tenderly to the contrary while he settled on his chest-

- What are you doing? -he asked curious when he saw what the German was doing.-

- It's getting cold and you're warm -he excused himself as he continued to snuggle into Nikolay's chest.-

- Oh, you want my jacket? -he said while he separated the German and took off his jacket and then put it on the German and took him to where the campfire where he was cooking used to be- Is that better, Klaus? -he looked at him-

- Y-yes! I'm much better, thank you -he answered while putting on his jacket- Oh Niko, why didn't you stay still where you were? I liked to be on your chest :( -he thought-

After a while the food was ready and the two of them started to eat. And after that they went to sleep to go back tomorrow with the rest and continue their way to Russian lands.