Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
BONUS CHAPTER. in memoriam.
❊ ❊ ❊
TO CAMILLE,
I still struggle to believe you're gone. It's been a few months and, for the first time since summer, all 4 of us finally are willing to accept closure. I mean, some of us definitely closed off faster than others, but now we're doing it together.
The Wreck feels weirdly empty without you. Everytime JJ, and John B, and I go in after a surf, I still look for that red bikini of yours, even though I know you hated the uniform. Mike changed it since... everything, which will probably make you even more mad. But, hey, at least it's gone for good, right?
We also never get free food anymore. Maury doesn't man the kitchen anymore, so there's no leftovers, and no one to sneak them to us. Maybe that's for the better though, we don't need anyone else getting fired at our expense.
Actually, it was my expense. I'm sorry for basically forcing you to give us food that one night, and I'm sorry for letting the responsibility slide off me so easy. You always called me the smartest of the group, but I kinda think I'm only smart on paper. I wasn't smart when it mattered.
You wanna know what else has changed? I've started smoking. Well, not as much as you, because not even JJ smokes that much. You're a champ— said it a couple times in the past and I'll say it again. For me it's just weed, and just sometimes. Whilst you had your own things going on, we did too, and somehow along the way I lost my scholarship.
Thinking about it, I think you were my biggest supporter with that scholarship. You of all understood what it was like to work so hard from nothing, and I guess now we both understand what it's like to lose it. Your case is way worse though, Cami, and I'm sorry it had to be that way.
That's all I really have to say. I'm sorry. We all are. The way everything went down on your birthday was poorly handled by all of us, and I want you to know I wish I could've acted different. Wishes won't get us far in life, you helped me learn that.
I hope your last moments were happy, and I hope one day I'll be able to smoke with you like you always wanted.
— Pope
❊ ❊ ❊
Camille / Cami,
Am I still allowed to call you Cami? I know we ended on a pretty bad note to say the least, still that doesn't mean you ever stopped being the same old Cami in my eyes. The same Cami I loved.
