Things I Don't Talk About

Something to Think About

So, first of all, when I started writing here, I didn't know what to expect. But after sometime now, I feel a bit unburdened. But it is not enough yet because I have many other things I want to tell you.

I can't really figure out how to interact with people these days, there are some who get offended easily and some others who just can't help but lie about the simplest things.

I have met many people online, but none of them ever told the truth about themselves, as I later came to learn in most cases. As for the others, I am not so sure about but I have learned from my mistake and try not to trust anyone without proof.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I don't like being lied to. I hate it, I hate to the extent words cannot describe. And yet sometimes, I trust others too easily.

This one time, my friend lied to me about having a girlfriend for literally no reason. I later found out that the said girlfriend was my classmate and he was irrationally worried. That kind of reason, I can live with, but there are many who don't need a reason other than to just mislead or make fun of someone.

This other time, I mustered all of my courage to text my crush (the one I talked about before), it was pretty foolish of me, but I can't get over this crush of mine.

So I texted her, her reply is that she is not interested in relationships and stuff. I realised that I was forcing it too much, so I backed off at once. And tonight I get a text and a picture attached to it from my only friend who lives right next door. He wanted me to confirm that the girl in the image was my crush or not. I look at the picture, and this sudden feeling that I cannot describe flooded my mind as though a huge gate was opened and a mix of anger, sadness and shock filled my heart.

It was her in the pic. Turns out that she had gone on a date and was in a relationship with a guy from my coaching centre ( cliche but true ) and they have been dating for the past year.

My friend follows this guy on Instagram and got the picture from this guy's instagram post.

This is not the first time anyone has lied to me. And I understand that I have no right to be this angry but now I can't help but hate her. I understand that I am in the wrong for texting her out of the blue and I didn't expect her to be polite and nice about it either. But what I expected was a bit of honesty. A sincere response in reply to my tiny bit of confidence that I had left before.

But I didn't get it. I still don't understand why this happened but I know that I didn't deserve what happened.

So this is my question for all of you.

Is it so hard to be honest to a person you've just met. Is a little bit of honesty and dignity too much to expect from a person?

As I write this, my fingers tremble with anger, and I just want to burst out crying, but I can't because some jackass decided that men don't cry. But it doesn't mean that we don't feel...right now I can't help but feel betrayed even though I shouldn't.

I think that I'll just suck it up for now, I can't really do anything about it.

For all who read this, please think about how you would feel if being lied to in a manner that will break your heart beyond repair