Things I Don't Talk About

The Feeling of Betrayal

I don't think I really know what being betrayed would feel like, I guess that's up for you to decide after reading this.

So I don't know about others but I am the kind of person who cannot help but trust someone who I just met. It's just my first instinct to put my trust into someone whom I don't really know so I cannot really judge them yet.

But many people show their true intentions soon enough.
Some just want to talk, some want to vent, some want attention, some want sympathy.

Now I don't really mind helping others in need. But I don't like, in fact I HATE being lied to. I have met many people online. And it always starts the same way. The first response after introductions is the line "you sound like a nice person" . Then something like " oh, don't worry you'll get through it." And then it's talking about some random things, but it always ends up in just being ghosted or just me ghosting them because I realise that everything I was told a lie.......

I know many of you are like " Yeah bummer, you got lied to on the internet." But it feels like much much more than that. I wish that I could just turn it off, all this mess inside my mind.....juat turn it off and continue on forward. But i can't, that's the harsh reality, I have to live with all this self-critisism and this big ego for the rest of my life.

In the end, I just want to say that she is the only person in this world whom I like and hate the most at the same time.- Call me a simp but that's just how it is for now.

I hope that this "Public Journal" of my life is not offensive to anyone, if it is- I don't really care but do tell me in the comments.