All I Want Is You Baby II (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 1 Snot-Eyed Brat

This is stupid. You are stupid. Do you know why? Because you spend all your time reading shit like this and then have the audacity to complain in that squeaky-ass scream, "James is scoring higher than me!" Shut up. James is winning at life, unlike you. You don't even have a date yet, do you? And when you do get someone, the bar is so low that I can't even see it!

Yet, you picked up this book again only to watch my sad dating life. Now, don't you dare come at me because I have my defences ready! Yes, you might argue, bUt zAliA, why does dating matter so much to you as a seventeen-year-old, well, to answer you, it doesn't. But how do I thrust this into Madelene's stupid brain without her thinking that I'm lesbian?

"It's okay to commit gay. It's alright to be more open-minded like me, Zalia,"
Your mind is so open that it's falling out of your skull!

Thanks to her, I have dated almost all the tall men in our school. And successfully failed at all those relationships, with Madelene's added commentary nagging me every time, "You suck,"
"I don't...That's why they dump me, genius,"
"...Well, then why don't you start sucking?"

Last Saturday night, after I had puked my guts out in a public restroom after demolishing a whole cake into my guts, she held my phone to my face, "Tyler texted," It's a sad excuse for a blurry, penal photograph, "Sorry, actually, I'm so big, my dick pic's all blurry cause my camera doesn't know where to focus"
OR MAYBE JUST DON'T SHOVE YOUR PHONE IN YOUR ASS?!

Madelene and I looked at each other, "He's pretty bad at clicking pictures"
I slapped her hand away, "He's cringe!"
"Don't worry, girl, you'll meet men with a bigger dick!"
"That's not what makes him cringe though!"

Tyler is the hottest dude in high school right now. He's actually not a jock. Surprisingly, he is not good at anything except staring at himself in the mirror and reminding everyone how hot he is. "His face is his personality, babes!" Madelene tried to convince me of his worthiness.
"Which means, basically, he doesn't have a personality!"

Tyler and I have been hanging out for about two weeks and I already want to hang myself. Madelene introduced us because she was worried that I was gay. That I hate men. I don't hate men, I just have two younger brothers. One is fourteen and the other is ten. And I will tell you now, growing up with two boys has created inside of me...an absolute disgust for the male species. Especially, a teenage boy. 

I remember walking out of my room to take a midnight shit when I heard something inside the dark bathroom. I ran to my room to get a torch and yelled, "WHO'S THERE?! STOP HIM! MOM! A THIEF!" I flashed my light at a naked molester who jumped down the bathroom window and was now standing naked in the garden. The light flashed on his face as he covered his pubes with his hands,

"Louise? What are you doing there naked?" I yelled as I ran towards the window, got stuck into some sheets laying on the bathroom floor and fell outside the window myself, landing on my ass. It wasn't the hip trauma that made me bedridden for a solid two days, it was the liquid semen on my ankles and a graphic depiction of my naked, fourteen-year-old brother in front of me. Alive.

"NO!" I cried in my bed, "I can't believe that's the first dick I ever saw!"
"Tyler did send you a dick pic! All has not been lost!" Madelene comforted me while passing me some toilet paper to wipe my tears, "BITCH, AT LEAST GET TISSUES! I AIN'T SHITTING FROM MY EYES!"
"I got what I found in the toilet,"
"Y-You got this from the toilet? Bitch..."

I threw the entire fucking roll outside. Something had gotten into Louise after he crossed thirteen. He was so unnecessary...sexual?

"Lui, if I get another pair of crusty ass sheets from your room, I swear to god I will tear your dick and shove it into your goddamn mouth, you fucking hear me, son?" Dad took the sheets and slammed the door shut, "Jesus Christ,"