1.Partyboi

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This Is How We Do It // Montell Jordan


I'm late. Not so late that I missed the meal but late enough that when I walk in everyone's going to look up at the asshole. Me. Even for an L.A. party where no one's on time, this is pushing it.

My car whips around the corner leading closer to the hills without losing a hubcap. It's a piece of shit but I can't complain. It gets me from point a to point b, usually. There was that one time I got stranded in Pasadena. That's a cool place so I was fine hanging in old town for the afternoon until Zack came in his equally shitty truck to pick my ass up. We played a round of pool at a bar called Q's and beat it back to our place by midnight. He took me back the next day with a spark plug or something. I have no idea. The guy grew up on a ranch, fixing all the shit with his dad. I don't have those skills. But damn, I miss those days. Now he's practically wifed up with his woman and I'm missing my wingman.

I gun the motor, hoping like hell my clunker makes it up the hill toward Zack and Brianna's place. My former roomie blew right past the starving artist stage of his career when he landed a music video with a pop star. He and Brianna gelled right away and now he's living in her Hollywood hills mansion. If I hadn't seen the entire relationship develop before my own eyes, I would think they're full of shit. Nothing in Hollyweird is real. They don't call it La La land for nothing. But those two are as real as it gets.

By some miracle of God my car makes it to the top of the hill and all the way down Bree's street. I'm sure I'm not allowed to call her Bree but unless Zack has gained the power of ESP like a glittery vampire, my thoughts should be safe. I wouldn't dare call her Bree to her face. Zack might be my friend, but I've never seen someone as protective over a person as he is over Brianna. It's almost like keeping her safe is his job. He's a whipped cream pie. That's something I'll say to his face.

I park my car on the street, not bothering to lock it. Who in their right mind would steal this hunk of shit on a street lined with literal star's homes? And if they did, I could care less. I do actually have insurance, not like more than a few other wannabe actor shitheads I know. If someone stole it, they'd be doing me a favor. In fact...

I sprint back to my car and drop the keys right on the driver's seat. There. Maybe my day will start looking up.

Feeling pretty fucking good about myself now, I stride toward the stairs that lead up to Brianna's place. No matter how long Zack has lived here, I can't bring myself to think of her house as theirs. It's a mini mansion overlooking tinsel town. The windows are full glass and take up the majority of the walls to maximize the view. It's like living in a glass box if you ask me. No thanks.

Brianna would insist her place is just as much Zack's, that she shares her life with him and that includes all the material possessions she has. But I'm no dummy. He's a karate instructor, not a Hollywood hottie. Even though half the town knows his name and he's stalked by the paparazzo wherever he goes, it's all because he's with America's sweetheart. The second they break up he'll be as well-known as Kevin Federline. I've had to tell more people than I can count to google that guy's name. Proof that being attached to a pop star, even having kids with her, won't make you famous for long.

I step up to the door and give myself a pep talk. I shouldn't think so negatively about my buddy's relationship. Just because I'm a jaded asshole doesn't mean his love life is going to crash and burn. He's a nice guy. She's a nice girl. They are so sweet together it gives me a stomachache.

I admit that might be jealousy but I'm also realistic. We live in a town where 6 months is a long-term relationship. Zack has been with Bree for a year. They're about to hit their shelf life.

So much for the pep talk. I'm still dumping on them. I slap my cheeks, both sides, and smile. It's go time. I shove open the door, not locked because it's a party, and step through the portal into another land.

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