12.Say It

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Head Over Heels // Tears for Fears

I sit on the bench in the secret garden for thirty minutes before the backdoor to the bookstore opens and Char walks out. She doesn't make eye contact as she descends the few steps and makes her way to where I'm seated. I, however, can't take my eyes off her. The body-hugging dress wraps around her the way I want to. Touching every single part of her.

She sits down as silently as she walked out. But she sits close. Her arm rubs against mine. Something about the way she allows the close proximity feels like an apology. I'm struck with the knowledge that this isn't easy for her. The thing is, Char isn't this uptight, buttoned up woman. She's bubbly and excited. She speaks in exclamation points. She says the awkward stuff out loud. Some might consider her inappropriate or overstepping at times. But that woman's been hiding for a while. Longer than I realized. But the more time I spend with her, the more I see the act she's putting on.

I put my arm around her shoulders, accepting her quiet apology.

"Hungry?" I ask.

"Very."

"Did you find anything else you wanted to buy?" I stand and reach a hand to help her up.

"Maybe."

I laugh. "Maybe you should go grab them so we can add them to the pile." I hold up the author signed book she found earlier.

"Maybe I already stashed them at the checkout counter."

I smile. "Good girl."

Char clears her throat.

"Um, yeah."

***

We walk slowly to the car after a nice dinner at one of the sidewalk restaurants. The mood since my bookstore confession and Char's silent apology is peaceful. I laid things out for Char in no uncertain terms. It's like I've removed a heavy blanket from my chest and now I can take a deep breath. I made my move. The next move is Char's.

I wish I knew what her move would be.

Once we're at the car, I unlock the door and drop the bag of books inside along with a few other things both Char and I purchased while wandering the shops. A t-shirt for me since I've been collecting them from each stop on our tour. Might as well considering this is the most I've ever traveled. Char picked up some hand beaded bracelets and a few postcards. We've got this tourist vibe down. I just need a fanny pack and an obnoxious camera.

Char moves to open the passenger side door when I stop her.

"No, no. Not yet." I take her hand in mine, gently, and hold it away from the handle.

"I can open my own door."

"I know. I've seen you do it myself. I have no problem with you opening your own door when we're not on a date. I've got it when we are."

Char shakes her head, pulls away from my grasp, and crosses her arms.

"The real reason is we aren't leaving yet." I round the back of the car and pop the trunk. Inside is a blanket and my secret weapon. Sugar. Chocolate to be exact. I look back up to find Char watching me, an unreadable expression on her face. Maybe she's getting ready to make her move.

"What's going on?" she asks sounding absolutely suspicious.

Ok. Guess that move isn't on the schedule, yet.

"We have another engagement to attend." I explain, once again offering my right arm while my left is filled with blanket and dessert.

"What engagement?" Her tone is suspicious, but I don't react.

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