Chapter Thirty-Eight - Carter

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"So, ventilator-associated pneumonia, catheter-associated bloodstream infections, urinary tract infections, venous thromboembolism, delirium, myopathies and neuropathies?" Lou's sat on her bed; holding up her fingers, counting as she lists everything that's written on the small pink card in my hand.

"And they're related to?" I prompt.

"Critical illness and..." Her nose crinkles adorably, squeezing her eyes closed as she thinks.

"Is this the part where your impossibly large brain explodes?"

"Stress ulcers?" She cracks one of her eyes open as she says it, unsure with her answer.

"Bingo." I throw the card onto her desk, as she raises her arms above her head in a double fist pump.

"Yes! I'm going to make the ICU my bitch!" She flops backwards onto the bed with a maniacal laugh as I grin at her, ear to ear.

She had a quick shower as soon as we arrived at her apartment whilst I made myself some toast, she's wearing a big comfy t-shirt and navy cotton shorts that have ridden up as she lies back. I almost swallow my tongue as I try not to ogle her smooth olive skin like the absolute worst study buddy. She took out her braids so now her long blonde hair is curled like a sports illustrated beach edition.

"OK, what's on the next card?" She moves back into a sitting position.

"Nope, no way. You're done."

"Carter, no I'm not. There's like four more cards." I look down at the cards, there's like fifty of them. They're written in a ridiculously neat loopy handwriting, all highlighted, and colour coordinated in some sort of code that somehow makes sense to her. All obvious signs of her diligence to her studying, no wonder she skipped a grade, she's the smartest person I know.

"You're going to give yourself a stress ulcer if we keep going." I switch off her desk lamp and take a seat beside her on the bed, gently resting my hand on her shoulder to stop her from running to the desk. The floral bedside lamp casts a warm glow on the rest of the room, her Bluetooth speaker is playing quietly. "You're going to make the ICU your bitch." She smiles shyly at me.

"I don't know why I'm so stressed out, we're only pre-med, pretty much the lowliest lifeform in the hospital."

"You hold yourself to a high standard." She looks towards her desk and shrugs.

"I guess."

"You'll be running the place in the future." She smiles thankfully, a moment passes between us before she leans towards me, tilting her face and closing her eyes for a kiss.

I want nothing more than to touch her lips with my own, but something comes over me and the question bursts out that I'd been withholding since I'd driven her home.

"Who's Alex?" She leans backwards, startled by my question. I'm a fucking idiot. "I know that I have no right to ask that question but-"

"My brother." My whole body relaxes as soon as she says it.

"Your brother?"

"Yes. My eldest. He lives in Canada so calls to check in every now and again, his wife is pregnant so he's up at all kinds of hours, picking up strange foods that she's craving."

"Oh." I smile sheepishly as she looks puzzled.

"Are you jealous Carter?" One of her eyebrows is raised and her blue eyes are fixed on mine.

"No." I rest my hand on her thigh, tracing her soft skin with my fingers. "I just think maybe we should establish some ground rules?" 

"Rules? That sounds like the opposite of a no pressure arrangement." She crosses her arms across her chest, I struggle to maintain eye contact with her, instead of glancing towards where her breasts which are pushed together beneath the thin cotton t-shirt. "Like what?"

I move closer steadily, it's a shot in the dark but I think my physical closeness disarms her.

I don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say here.

The circumstances hadn't changed. She's busy and I'm busy. Our futures looked no different.

I wasn't the guy who made promises and she wasn't the girl that expected them.

But I knew one thing.

I was jealous.

I'd been jealous of any guy near her since I'd met her. It was an undeniable feeling. Lou's too sharp, too smart for me to try and lie to.

Her breathing turns shallower as she uncrosses her arms over her chest, placing them behind her on the bed and shuffling backwards as I crawl on top of her, settling myself between her legs and holding my own weight on my elbows.

"Rule one." I brush my thumb over the crease between her eye brows and kiss her lips in a soft peck. "You let me pick you up from work, no fighting me on that."

"That's not-" I kiss her again, interrupting her.

"Rule two." She presses her lips together, fighting a smile. Here we go, rip the band aid off Carter. "We don't do this with other people."

She stills, her catlike eyes wide and dilated, her chest constricted beneath me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I won't sleep with anyone else whilst we do this." I say it like its fucking obvious. I hate the doubt that creeps in to her gaze, my history betraying me. She thinks I'm not capable.

"Why?"

"Because I don't like the idea of you doing this with someone else. I'm enjoying being the one who gets to-" I think for a moment, not wanting to sound like a complete idiot; it's probably already too late. "Do this with you."

"So, until our... teachings are over?" She mulls over it. I remember what was agreed.

"Exactly."

"Can you do that?" She bites her lip and fights a grin as my face is one of disbelief.

"Despite what you've probably heard Blondie, I'm not a total animal. If we're doing this together, I won't mess around with anyone else." A beautiful blush fills her cheeks as she smiles, pleased. I take the quiet moment to swoop in again, kissing her and deepening the kiss until we're both moaning and pressing against each other in all the right places.

I move over without breaking our kiss, so that we're lying side by side, her head resting on my bicep. I inch my hands closer to the hem of her shorts, groaning when I reach beneath and find that she's not wearing any underwear and she's soaked.

"You're so fucking wet." She blushes, trying to hide her face in my arm pit. "Don't you dare hide from me." She brings her face back to mine, as I trace the smooth, hot seam of her core.

Teasing her, caressing her folds before finding her clit and pressing down on it with my thumb. I capture her gasp with my mouth, sweeping in with my tongue as I apply pressure.

I inch my index finger inside of her, she feels glorious, impossibly tight. I go slowly, reading the signs of her body as she rocks slightly against my hand.

"No one's ever touched you like this before?" I ask, nipping at her lower lip. She shakes her head, her breath fast and shallow, incapable of words; I groan into her mouth.

"Carter." She gasps as she writhes against my hand as I increase my pace, fingering her whilst my thumb plays with the pulsing bud.

She's close, so fucking responsive to every touch.

"Come for me." I use my arm banded around her to pull her even closer, her body pliant against me as my hand moves wildly beneath her shorts.

"Carter!" I tilt my head back so I can watch her face whilst she comes, drinking in every detail. Intoxicated by the flutter of her lashes, the moans she's releasing, the strength of her hands as they fist my sweatshirt.

Oh yea. I could get used to this.

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