Never Enough

Chapter 2 : Grieving.

Pete Pov

This night was like the old time, Pol and Tankhun fighting over everything, Arm laughing watching them by my side. We played games with alcohol, Tankhun tried to be a genius bartender and not all the drinks were good, but we had fun. We ate delicious food, watched a horror movie, then a funny one. I had fun with them.
I couldn't have a better night after that terrible day even if I didn't sleep at all, overthinking my story with him and imagining so many what if because of what happened. As I learned very well my lesson, nothing good lasts forever and I should put myself first or at least try to do that.

I do my best to leave quietly the room with my luggage, it's too early in the morning for someone to be up and that's exactly why I choose this time of the day. I walk towards the entrance of the house with a heavy heart, I had many memories there, spending many years with the main family and now, I was free, doing everything I want.
I never had the chance to question myself about who I wanted to be if I had a chance, I'm lost and I hope that healing myself will help me to find answers.

Chan : Pete !

Pete : Oh hello Phi Chan.

Chan : Are you leaving ?

Pete : Yes. I don't want to be a burden.

Chan : You are a good element Pete. We will always have a place for someone like you if you change your mind.

Pete : Thank you Phi Chan. I need time to think.

Chan : You know that you can work inside without having to meet them, right ?

Pete : I know what your offer is, but I can't accept it Phi Chan.

Chan : Alright. I wish you good luck Pete. You have my number, right ?

Pete : Thank you, I have it Phi Chan.

Chan : If you don't find a job and you still want to work as a bodyguard but not here, give me a call I have contacts.

Pete : I will not forget it Phi Chan.

I get in the cab I reserved, a cap on my head I need to make some change and let people forget me, especially the enemy of the Theerapanyakun's family.
I am alone to protect myself, but I have always been when I needed to face my father, when I was used to not let anything happen to Khun Kinn even if it meant to be killed. The thunder in my heart is still damaged me and I want it to stop, I wish the psychiatrist will help me on that matter.

The course isn't long before the driver tells me we arrived, so I get off with my luggage.
It's not a luxurious motel, it's perfect to hide and it doesn't seem to be too dirty, it looks even better than in the pictures on the internet.
The receptionist gives me my key with a smile, I thank her before reaching the elevator.
I want to take a warm bath, to shut down my brain and empty my head, maybe my heartache will stop for a moment. I have maybe three hours before Tankhun wakes up and my phone will ring non-stop.

- Four days later. -

Pete : What can I say ? I finally have a home, it's a cosy studio not too big to remind my loneliness and not too small to have a panic attack. I did as you asked Doctor, I tried to find what I like. But I must admit that it's hard. I tried to work as a florist, it was not a success. I cut my hands with flowers, and customers don't like blood on their flowers, so it was really not for me, especially since I learned that each flower has a meaning. I was more focused on why a customer wanted this kind of flowers and what motivation he had.