Never Enough

Chapter 3 : Fighting the darkness.

Pete POV :

It's not a big deal. I can do it. I killed people, what could be hard to make coffee and serve it to people ?
Yet. Here I am. Unable to sleep. Turning in every way, in hope to find the best position to join the arms of Morpheus. I guess it's what happens when you started to feel asleep in the warm of another body next to you every night for months. The cold of loneliness keeps me awake at night with our memories.
It's not easy to fill the gap that he left in me.

But, even if I still miss him, I don't want to see his face, I hate everything I once loved. Because it feels all fake to me now. I feel anger burning inside me, a fire to just leave with no word when I had many things to say.
I listened to my psychiatrist and I wrote many letters to relieve myself from those words, he will never have it, he doesn't deserve it after all he doesn't care as his brothers. They must be all happy, it's so unfair. I will heal. I will survive. And one day, I will show them how wrong they were like my father. I need to hang on until then.

Finally, I get up to get ready taking my time to do that, picking carefully clothes for my first day at the coffee shop, the desire to be the new me noticed a little bit. I eat a quick breakfast, watching some news until I hear this family name, my heart stops for a moment as I can't breathe. The world freezes until my crisis passes, and I can move again, turning off the television. A hand on my chest, I ask myself when will it be less painful. Many questions with no answers wander inside my head while I listen to my alarm ringing to tell me it's time to leave.

I walk to the coffee shop, it's a sunny day, a weather I liked before, now I find it more beautiful when the rain comes.
I guess I'm not a sunshine anymore, more like a cloud hiding it.
I get inside my new workplace by the staff entrance, then Gina makes me come to her and officially introduce me to the others employees. Mostly, women students, but there is only one man, older than the others.
He is handsome, blonde hair, tall, tanned skin. I feel this natural chemistry in my body when I look into his eyes. I never knew I liked men before Vegas, and now I notice them more than women.
Getting caught, I look at Gina, maybe with red on my cheeks as I get shy, I don't want to ruin it before I start to work.

Pete : Hi. Nice to meet you all. I'm Pete. Please take care of me. I will do my best.

Gina : Pete, this is Art. You will learn by his side today. Do a good work together.

Art : Nice to meet you Pete. Follow me, it will open soon and we have a lot of things.

I'm pretty sure, he is popular with customers. His voice is hot. Oh my god ! What is wrong with me ? He is my co-worker and my mentor for the day. I need to focus. I need to make coffee and not daydreaming about Art. I can't trust nobody, only myself, so let's try to not burn my hands.

Art : The earth calling Pete. Are you here ? Hello ? Time to wake up and work !

Pete : Oh... Mh.. Sorry... What were you saying ?

Art : That you can't let the coffee beans overflow or you will break the machine.

Pete : Yeah. Sure. Sorry. I will focus.

Art : You better. I will not let you hurt yourself on my watch.

He cares of my safety ? That's sweet. Oh not again !

Pete : So.. After the water, which button I need to push ?

Art : Let me show you and watch me carefully to be able to do it too alone.